A Surprise Party of Sorts...

Today is Heidi's 29th birthday. I have covertly set up a post on her blog where people can go to send her a quick happy birthday message. Please take a moment to let Heidi know that you are glad that God put her on this earth. I know I am.

My Kind of Environmentalist

In a world that has become so insanely hysterical about global warming, it's refreshing to hear someone -- especially a celebrity -- talk about caring for the environment without predicting the end of the world or defending the moral necessity of investing in carbon credits (don't even get me started).

This interview with Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe, appeared in this month's issue of Men's Health magazine and I wanted to share part of it here. With Rowe as our spokesman, real men can care about the environment again without looking like a bunch of wacko greenie pansies.

Was that a bit too harsh?

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There's a rumor going around that Dirty Jobs is the greenest show on television. Does that surprise you? Not really. I'm the one spreading it.

Any truth to it? Plenty. More than half of the 200 jobs we've profiled in the past 3 years benefit the environment in a direct way.

Why do you think people have been slow to notice? Because Dirty Jobs has no environmental agenda. We're not trying to save the planet or call attention to the latest crisis. We're just profiling real people who work hard and get dirty in the course of putting bread on the table.

You're talking about garbage haulers and sewage workers? Yeah, but I'm also talking about entrepreneurs. Like the guys in Florida who scuba dive for golf balls in alligator-infested water hazards and resell them online. Or the dairy farmer in New England who markets biodegradable flowerpots made from cow poop. Or the pig rancher in Las Vegas who collects leftovers from casino buffets and feeds the slop to his swine. These people are greener than Al Gore in a cabbage patch.

Is that what you meant when you told Larry King “brown is the new green?” Actually, what I said was Brown before Green. Like in the dictionary.

So your position on the issue is alphabetical? That’s funny. Very few people who want to talk about the environment these days have a sense of humor.

Why do you think that is? Because the “Greens” have been busy scaring the crap out of us. Haven’t you heard? “Your SUV is melting Greenland. Your hairspray put a hole in the ozone. Your kids are going to inherit a charcoal briquette.”

Well, the stakes are a little scary. Should we really be laughing about global warming? No. But relying on fear and guilt to modify behavior usually leads to comedy. Like in the hardware store, where they tell me the plastic rake in aisle 4 is “environmentally friendly” because it doesn’t use wood. Then, further down the same aisle, they promote a steel rake with a wooden handle as “environmentally friendly” because it uses a “renewable resource.” What a crock. I still don’t know the right answer to “plastic or paper?” Does anybody?

You seem a little agitated. I am. Look around this hotel room. Nice, right? Well there's a sign on the back of my toilet that says, "It's Your Planet—Keep It Green!" The sign is covered with little raindrops with sad faces drawn into them. What do you think they're trying to tell me? You think they're trying to save water by asking me to not flush my pee?

So you have a problem with saving water? Not at all. Hell, I'd pee in the shower if it'd save me money. The thing is, who enjoys the savings? Do you think I'll be seeing a discount when I check out? Some sort of urine rebate?

Uh . . . probably not. Hotels are saving millions of dollars by guilting their customers into forgoing fresh towels and linens in the name of environmental responsibility. Those same hotels are happy to sell me a bottle of water for $5—a plastic bottle, no less! You have to laugh.

So you’re sympathetic to the cause, but critical of what exactly - the execution? If we’re talking about the importance of cleaning up after ourselves and leaving a light footprint, I’m all for it. But really, I’m tired of being lectured by people who care more for the planet than the people on it. There’s a lot of “inconvenient truth” in the environmental movement, and a ton of manipulation. That leads to hypocrisy and opportunism.

You’ve put some thought into this. I’m not done. The people I meet on Dirty Jobs would never describe themselves as “green,” yet they do more to clean up our environment in the course of making a living than any celebrity ever will. If you were looking to launch an environmental awareness campaign that real people can relate to, I’d say “Get Down with Brown,” and hire a plumber to act as spokesman.

So you’re not impressed with the efforts of people like Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio? I’m not going to question anyone’s agenda or motive. But I strongly suspect that millions of responsible Americans who see themselves as environmentally conscious have been turned off by the marketing of green, and might feel uneasy about falling in line behind movie stars and politicians. Celebrities might generate awareness, but flying around in private jets and being famous doesn’t help our environment. Picking up other people’s garbage does.

Butt-Borne Diseases

Updated Monday, July 21

Let the record show that the largest percentage of readers polled (42%) agree with me that toilet seat assessment is the way to go when considering the use of paper seat covers. In a close second, 35.5% of people opt never to tempt fate and would cover the seat every time, even at Martha Stewart's house. And bringing up the rear (no pun intended) is the 22.5% of people who were raised by monkeys and think that personal hygiene is merely a fad.

Let the record also show that this post garnered more comments than the one celebrating the birth of my son. I have a very peculiar reader base.

Thanks everyone; this was fun!

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Do you always use the provided toilet seat covers in restrooms?

I discussed this with Cameron today and we have somewhat differing views. He says that he would never think of not using a seat cover and I am all for assessing the restroom's cleanliness level before making a decision either way. If the restroom appears clean, then I have no issues. If I am at the airport in Reno, however, I will always opt for protection.

So what about you? Please take a moment to respond to my official, scientific poll on the right-hand column. If you decide to participate, you are required to be 100% honest -- don't worry, you will remain anonymous.

The poll closes a week from today, so weigh in now [poll closed]

If you simply want to make fun of me and tell me how disgusting I am for selectively using the seat protectors, the comment link is below. Try to be kind.

Woman Gives Birth to Middle Linebacker

HOUSTON, TX - A local couple who thought were going in for a routine C-section delivery of their first child were surprised to discover that their little bundle of joy came out to be an unusually big bundle of joy. Brayden Brooks Gray, newborn son of Jonathan and Michelle Gray of Kingwood, birthed in at 10 lbs. 10 oz. and just short of 23 in. long.

While the delivery was routine by all medical standards, doctors were baffled at what they saw as Brayden was removed from his mother's uterus. "I couldn't believe my eyes," said the on-call obstetrician. "I have never delivered a baby with a football helmet already strapped to his head."

Along with the helmet, baby Gray was reportedly also born with a full set of shoulder pads, cleats, and what appeared to be an NFL contract postdated for 2026.

"I was amazed," said new father Jonathan. "Not only did I witness the birth of my first child, but I also got to meet the youngest-ever NFL draft pick -- all from the comfort of a sterile maternity ward operating room." New mother Michelle only commented by saying, "Cleats?! Thank God for epidurals!"

By press time, the team logo on the helmet could not be confirmed. Some medical staff insist that it was the Houston Texans, while others bitterly contend that they saw the tell-tale Dallas Cowboys star. One orderly made the suggestion that he believes that it may have been a Denver Broncos helmet. Police are still on scene investigating his murder.

For now, the Grays seem content with their new baby and insist that they're not going to give him any special treatment just because he is already favored to lead his team to a decisive victory in the 2028 Super Bowl.

"We are just glad he's healthy," said Jonathan, "and that we can pay down our medical bills through the sponsorship we just signed making him the spokesman for Gatorade's new Breast Milk Mountain Blast energy drink."

Hear the Debate

It turns out that the link to the debate I posted below is no longer on iTunes. I have included it here in mp3 format so that you can listen directly from this page:



If you enjoy this episode of the Dennis Prager Show, I strongly recommend that you subscribe to the free podcasts of his show. It's not all politics -- he covers a wider range of interesting topics than any talk show host I have ever heard. Even my wife loves listening to him -- and she hates talk radio.

I specifically recommend that you check out his weekly Male/Female hour. His insights on marriage and male sexuality are spot-on and he holds nothing back. If you are married (man or woman), your thinking will definitely be challenged.

Sleep Deprivation

Many of you who know me well can attest to the fact that my mind doesn't react favorably to being tired (or on heavy medication). When it gets late, I tend to lose that filter that usually rests somewhere between my brain and my mouth. This makes it possible for me to say things that I normally wouldn't on any given afternoon -- nothing cruel or nasty, just different from my normal self.

Now that Harrison is here, I have many more opportunities to be filter-less. In fact, my lack of sleep is even taking a toll on my actual sleep time. It seems that I have developed a proclivity to walking and talking in my sleep (ala Greg Rohlinger).

Here are two incidents from this past week that my wife told me about:

Heidi woke up at 1:30 and noticed that I wasn't in bed. She came out to the living room and found me laying on the couch in the dark and asked, "Babe, what are you doing out here?" My response was, "I'm just uploading videos! You wouldn't understand!" I remember nothing.

The other incident was a few nights earlier. Heidi had just finished feeding Harrison in the living room, laid him down in his crib, and crawled back in bed next to me. I greeted her by saying, "I don't know who you are, but I'm sure glad you're here." Just so you know, wives love to hear that from their husbands.

People always tell me not to wish away Harrison's life by looking forward to him growing up, but I believe that the day he starts sleeping through the night will be a glorious one in my life. I doubt I'll look back in 20 years and think, "If only I had never wished away that time in Harrison's life when I wandered aimlessly through the house at night and said strange things to my wife, my dog, and any inanimate object I ran into."

I love my son, but I need my sleep!

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July everyone! We are blessed to live in a land where freedom and liberty are ways of life, not something we have to fight for every day. Let's remember the sacrifices and courage of the millions of others who have made America what it is today.

God bless America!

Let's Be Clear

Politics is a necessary evil. It can be so maddening and full of hype that many people decide to completely ignore what is happening in the political realm and choose to turn their attention to more easily-digested forms of sadism (like watching Wipeout).

Even though politics can be frustrating, I believe that it is important for each voter to take a good look -- beyond mere emotions -- at what's at stake. While many political junkies are obsessed with trying to convince you to jump on their party-line bandwagon, I think its more important to get a clear grasp on where each party really stands so that you can be well-informed enough to make a confident decision in the voting booth this November.

One great way to be clear about the differences between the parties is to listen to this exchange between conservative radio talk show host Dennis Prager and liberal newspaper editor Arriana Huffington. I promise that this is no shouting match, its both friendly and respectful. More importantly, it draws a clear distinction between the parties and their political and social ideals.

Clicking the image below will open up an iTunes podcast screen where you can download and listen to the debate for free. Its about 35 minutes long, but well worth every second. If you don't have the time now, I recommend that you download it to your iPod and listen to it at work or in the car.

Update: This link now points to a new post with audio streaming.



If you are not interested in taking the time to understand the deep and dividing differences represented in the upcoming election, then this video will probably be of more significance to you as the election draws nearer:

Authenticity

Is it always best to be totally authentic in public, to be completely true to your thoughts, feelings, or perspectives, as opposed to covering up your true self or "wearing a mask"?

Most people's first inclination would be to say that we should strive to "be ourselves" at every opportunity and in all situations. Obviously, no one thinks that being brutally honest 100% of the time, with no consideration for the feelings of others is a good thing, but I think that most people in society today would say that authenticity is generally better than hiding true feelings. That sounds good in theory, but in practice it doesn't seem to me to be a positive habit, especially when other people are involved.

If I am going to a BBQ with friends and my wife and I get into a heated argument on the way, my authenticity would dictate that I enter the house with the same attitude of frustration that I left the car with. But who in the world wants to be at a BBQ with a couple who are so visibly in conflict? It seems to me that it would be pretty selfish of me to impose my foul mood on the rest of the people I interact with that day. Don't I have an obligation to hide my feelings and do whatever I can to enjoy (or at the very least act like I am enjoying) the party? Is that fake? Yes. Is it the best thing to do? Yes.

Dennis Prager, one of the clearest-thinking and most influential people on my thinking, has written and spoken extensively on the problems with people who refuse to act happy when they don't feel happy. He believes that acting happy is a moral obligation. We cover up our "authentic" body odor with deodorant and bad breath with mouth wash because we don't want to impose our nastiness on others, but many people don't hesitate to impose their emotional nastiness on everyone.

Feelings are not good for making decisions on how to behave; they tend to be very inwardly-focused and completely ignore innocent bystanders. It's important to be aware of feelings of frustration or unhappiness, but if you wear those feelings on your sleeve all the time, that "authenticity" tends to spill over onto others, usually in a very negative way.

We should always be mindful of the impact of our attitudes on the people around us, even if it means that we throw our precious authenticity out the window.

A Truly Amazing Story

Heidi and I have been blown away by the number of people who prayed for us as we awaited Harrison's arrival into this world and his arrival into our family. We knew that our friends and family were praying, but we are learning each day that many more people were lifting this adoption up in prayer than we ever realized.

I have had people I haven't talked to in years call or write to tell us that they had been praying. At church the other day, a lady we had never met in our lives came up, gave us a hug, and said that she was so happy that God answered her prayers. This woman never met us, but prayed to God on our behalf. How cool is that?

Perhaps the most incredible story of prayer for Harrison came this morning when my sister told me about her former boss' prayer:

In the days before we brought Harrison home, my sister was chatting with her old boss and he asked how Heidi and I were doing (we had met him on a trip to D.C. three years earlier). Erin explained the situation we were in and how we were worried that we may have to go back home without the child we have prayed so fervently for. He told her that he was heading out of the country soon and would be sure to say a special prayer for us.

A few days later, he was in Jerusalem, Israel on business. One day, he took some time to go visit The Church of the Holy Sepulcher (the traditionally accepted site of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection). While he was there, he purchased a prayer candle on our behalf, had a priest bless it, and placed it at the location where Jesus is believed to have been crucified. His prayer for us was that the child would be ours.

This happened on Friday, June 6 -- a few hours before Harrison officially became our son.

Amazing.

Apparently, I'm a Sick Man

A number of people have made comments today that make me feel like I might be a complete freak of nature. I have seen some looks of mild-to-moderate horror and have noticed the slight wagging of more than a few heads indicating an unusual level of disgust with me. Even my wife has given me her rare but potent "I can't believe I married you" look. All of this is because I was genuinely looking forward to today's big event: Harrison's circumcision.

[Crowd gasps in horrific disbelief]

I'm not a sadist. I do have a heart. No, its not made of stone -- its made of flesh and blood just like yours.

I have always had a deep fascination with medical procedures, and I had never in my life seen a circumcision -- until today. I wasn't even sure how it was accomplished and I was totally curious to see it. Now, before you call Child Protective Services, please know that I take no pleasure in seeing or hearing my son in pain. The circumcision was going to happen no matter what, so why shouldn't be there to see it?

While Heidi sat in the waiting room a safe distance from where the procedure was done, I got to be there to next to Harrison, comforting him with my voice and a binky dipped over and over again in sugar water. The circumcision was fascinating like I hoped it would be (I'll spare you the graphic details), but I really loved that I could be there with my boy, whispering his name and telling him that I was there and that I love him. That was cool.

I went in today looking forward to the experience of seeing my first circumcision and left the hospital with a sense of gratitude that the medical procedure wasn't the most poignant memory I'd walk away with.

I may be a sick man, but I sure love being a dad.

Photos

I have finally found the time to post a few of my favorite Harrison photos to date. To be honest, my wife's blog is much better equipped for posting multiple images, so please visit her site for the full gallery.


Harrison and Mom in the hospital nursery


Who doesn't like photos of a baby bum?


We both got to give him his first bath


Not crying, just yawning


Grayma and Grandaddy (my parents)


I love his face in this one

Doxology!

After many sleepless nights and thousands of prayers, Heidi and I are happy to announce that Harrison Michael Gray is officially ours as of Friday, June 6 at 11:30 am.



Born Sunday, June 1, 2008
St. Mark's Hospital - Salt Lake City, UT
12:32 pm
8 lbs, 3 oz
20.5 inches

Heidi and I would like to thank each of you who took part in praying this baby into our arms. We are blessed at the opportunity to raise this precious child and blessed that we have friends and family who have helped to pray this boy home.

If you know the doxology, please sing it with me now:

Praise God from whom all blessings flow,
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts,
Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost
Oh, praise Him! Oh, Praise Him!
Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
Hallelujah!

Its Raining in Salt Lake Today

I was sure by now, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away, stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen and it's still raining
and as the thunder rolls I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls I raise my hands
and praise the God who gives and takes away.

And I'll praise you in this storm and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried You hold in your hand
You never left my side and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm.

Praise You in This Storm
by Casting Crowns

Lord, we give all glory to you, no matter the outcome.

Salt Lake City, UT

Well, we're still up here in Salt Lake City awaiting the birth of our adopted son. We definitely expected that he would have been born by now (his due date was last Saturday, May 24). For more on the adoption, check out our new family blog written, produced, directed, and edited by soon-to-be hot mom, Heidi.

Even though the waiting is killing me, I'm really enjoying the time with my family and absolutely loving the scenery. Utah is amazing this time of year. I love the weather, I love the green trees, and I love the mountains most of all. Living in Phoenix has caused me forget the enormity and the beauty of the Wasatch Mountains.

Honoring A Hero

This Memorial Day, I want to honor my grandad: Army Air Corps Major Isaac Terrell Spivey of Farmington, NM.

Grandad joined the Army Air Corps (Air Force) in his early 20s and was a B24 Liberator pilot in the South Pacific during World War II. He flew 50 missions, most of them in the pilot seat of a bomber nicknamed Red Headed Woman. Two of these 50 missions earned him the Distinguished Flying Cross, one of the highest decorations that can be given to pilots who serve in the military.

The first mission, in July 1945, had his crew flying over Saigon to take aerial photos of Japanese-controlled oil refineries. The intelligence captured on that mission was a key part in America's strategy to destroy the Japanese war machine. The mission caught Japan completely off-guard and the crew returned safely (after a 2,500 mile round trip - one of the longest flight missions of the war) only to have the gunner accidentally drop the film, exposing the entire roll.

The next day his crew was asked to do it all again, only this time the Japanese were ready. The Red Headed Woman and its crew flew a second consecutive 2,500-mile recognizance mission, but had to fight off about 45 Japanese fighter planes this time around. In the midst of intense combat, Grandad's crew was able to recapture the footage and return to base -- despite having a large chunk of the plane shot away.

This is only one of dozens of fascinating stories that my grandad could tell you about his time serving in WWII. Some stories are fascinating and some are sobering; He can tell you stories of funny things he experienced and then stories of friends he lost in combat. I love to hear his stories and he loves to tell them.

My grandad is one of thousands of military men and women to whom we owe thanks for the freedoms we enjoy today. To anyone who has served, thank you for your service to our country.

To Grandad, thank you for being my personal war hero.

Pop Goes the Church

This video comes from Granger Community Church in Granger, Indiana. This was how they opened up the weekend service during a series titled "Get in the Game":



I grew up playing the old-school Nintendo and especially loved playing Mario Bros. (who didn't?). I also dream of being a rockin' drummer (who doesn't?). Naturally, I thought this video was awesome.

Even though I love this sort of thing, I must admit that I usually have a twinge of uneasiness when I see popular culture featured so prominently in church. This uneasiness lies in the fact that I feel like pop culture tends to blur the line between the sacred and the unsacred, between what is holy and what is commonplace.

Please understand that I am part of a church that deliberately appeals to the culture, and I love it. I do not sit in service sneering because I am offended at "that song" or "that video". I honestly enjoy most of what churches do to incorporate "cultural relevance" into their services. I also understand that churches like Granger do this primarily as an "in" to reach people for Jesus -- I do not doubt their intentions for a moment.

Still, I cannot seem to shake that nagging feeling that pairing the message of Jesus with pop culture only tends to cheapen Jesus. Do we honestly think that He needs our technology and music and graphic design in order to change lives? If the answer is "no", then we need to look really hard at whether or not our persistence toward cultural appeal is worthy of so much energy.

What do you think about this issue? Tell me why you feel the way you do about the church and pop culture.

Sidenote: The title of this post is taken from the title of a book written by Tim Stevens , the Executive Pastor at Granger. I have not read it yet, but I know from reading reviews that his book is really making people think about this issue.

A Tragic Story

I just read today that Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman and his family lost their youngest child, adopted daughter Maria, due to injuries sustained in an accident at their family home in Tennessee. The accident looks to have been caused when an older sibling unknowingly ran the child over in their driveway with the family SUV. Read the full article here.

My heart and prayers go up for this family as they are in the midst of this inconceivably horrible tragedy.

Dear Friends,

Please keep Heidi and me in your prayers over the next few weeks. Heidi will be flying next Thursday to Salt Lake City, Utah to stay with my parents and await the birth of our soon-to-be adopted son. His official due date is Friday, May 24. Heidi will be leaving right after the end of her last day of school so that she can be there when the birth mom goes into labor. Once the labor begins, Heidi will call me and I will catch the first flight I can get to Salt Lake. Hopefully, I can make it in time for the birth.

This news may come as a surprise to many of you. To be honest, this whole process began only six weeks ago, and we are even surprised by the speed with which this whole thing has happened. If you are only finding out for the first time, please know that we intentionally kept this under wraps until the decision to make us the parents had been made. Adoptions can be very uncertain and emotional ventures and, in an effort to guard our hearts, we decided not to go public until we had the final confirmation.

We know that many of you have been diligent in praying for us as we journey through our battle with infertility. Your prayers and ours are now being answered in the life of this precious gift, and we look forward to embracing him with open arms. Thank you to every one of you who have been praying for us. We cannot express enough how grateful we are to know that you have been lifting your hearts to God on our behalf.

The whirlwind story of our last six weeks is too long for me to explain right now. Just know that God has shown us tremendous power and unending grace through this, and that we are truly humbled by the experience. I will be sure to give you more details in the next week or so.

In the meantime, please keep the last leg of this process in your prayers. Specifically, please pray for the birth mom, Nichoal. She is 17 years old and has an opportunity to set a rather rough life on the right path after this adoption. She is a new Christian and has been working hard to follow God’s leading. Pray that she can have people come into her life (us included) who will encourage her to continue to fight against her crummy home life and change her future for good.

Thanks again for your prayers and your friendship. We are blessed beyond measure to know each of you.

Love,

Michael & Heidi

Why I Don't Watch the News

Modern television news media has become useless on so many levels. Sometimes I wonder how hard assignment editors have to work just to find stories to fill up their air time. The following video is a prime example of why I don't spend much of my time watching the local news.

Click on the picture below to view the news story; this is reporting at its crappiest:



Aside from the fact that this completely inane story made it to a live broadcast, I find it particularly bothersome that it aired within the first ten minutes of their 8:00 news (see the timestamp above). Where exactly is the newsworthiness of this story?

To make things worse, the City of Gilbert had to add their personal touch of absurdity by having Greg Svelund, the official city spokesperson, comment on the issue by saying, "I think this is something that can be solved with education." What?!

Here, allow me:

Dog Park Etiquette 101:

Lesson 1: Dog poop is stinky
Lesson 2: A lot of dog poop fermenting in one area is even stinkier
Lesson 3: To minimize the stink, pick up Precious' poop
Lesson 4: Should have told you before Lesson 3 to use the plastic bags and not your bare hand, you flippin' idiot
Lesson 5: Don't ever leave the house if you are dumber than your dog

I'm pretty sure that I just saved the taxpayers of Gilbert a lot of wasted education dollars.