Put Your Fist in the Air!

My youngest brother's girlfriend Adrienne bought him the entire Guitar Hero: World Tour game for Xbox this Christmas. Needless to say, we rocked out to many-a-song in the days after Philip opened up that wondrous box of musical fusion.

Even though Harrison is still too young to play the game, he got into the fun in his own little way. Check out this video of our biggest fan:

Mormon Temple Tour Photos

I admittedly have a deep fascination with Mormonism. Growing up in Salt Lake City, I have been around the religion for most of my life. I'm definitely not someone who agrees with their theology or their claim that they are a Christian denomination, but this American-grown religion's short, volatile history and their modern-day people and practices are definitely interesting.

Last week, my family and I took Heidi and her parents (who were in SLC for Harrison's adoption hearing) downtown to Temple Square for a tour. Here are a few photos of that trip:



Temple construction began within days of the Mormon pioneers settling in the Salt Lake Valley. It took 40 years for this intricate building to be completed. Its walls are nine feet thick and the outside is detailed with numerous astrological symbols (including earthstones, moonstones, sunstones, constellations, and the lunar phases).



One thing I find particularly fascinating is the architecture of the buildings are at Temple Square. The fact that these simple pioneers were able to design and build such detailed and ornate structures is amazing to me. This six-spire, Gothic-style building is the largest of all the temples worldwide (over 100).



The granite used to build the temple was quarried from Little Cottonwood Canyon 20 miles away. It took days for each block to be hauled from the canyon to the temple site. Though construction on the Salt Lake Temple was the first to get underway, it was the fourth one completed.



One particular change I have noticed in the tour since I first took it is the fact that most, if not all, the tour guides are young women. The temple guides have been called to do their two-year mission in Salt Lake City (much like other faithful Mormons are called overseas). Our guides were Sister Meyers from Albuquerque and Sister Arnquist from Dallas.



The Assembly Hall was the first building at Temple Square to be completed (1877). It was built using small scraps of granite from the temple construction. This meeting place was where Mormon pioneers met for church in the early years. The building is now used for regular community concerts.



Inside the North Visitors Center, tourists will find huge, detailed murals of popular Old and New Testament stories and a large, interactive model of ancient Jerusalem. The centerpiece of the building, however, is the 11-foot marble Christus statue which stands in the middle of a gigantic mural of the universe. I'd be lying if I said it didn't creep me out a little.



Directly north of Temple Square is the new 21,000 seat Conference Center where large meetings are held (you've seen their painfully boring bi-annual television conferences, right?). This is also the building where the Mormon Tabernacle Choir performs. Mormon financial records are not made public, but the estimated cost for this building is over $240 million.



The Joseph Smith Memorial Building is east of Temple Square and was formerly the five-star Hotel Utah. This statue of Joseph Smith sits in the lobby. Mormonism's founding father is a very interesting figure. Descriptions of this man range from prophet of God to storyteller to philanderer. Despite his murky reputation, he definitely was a man of great influence and charm.



This final photo was taken from the top floor of the Joseph Smith Memorial Building. I think with a little work, this could easily be used as a postcard. If you are ever in Salt Lake City, I recommend that you spend a few hours to take the tour. I can guarantee you'll discover some things you never knew about Mormonism.

I Might Be Addicted

I was sick last week and couldn't do any of my half-marathon training, but this week I have been feeling much better. In celebration of the end of my bad cold, I ran 3 days for a grand total of 1 hour, 54 minutes, and 7 seconds over 9 miles of this earth (3 x 3 miles). Don't bother trying to figure out my average time per mile -- it's still pretty crummy.

In the past I never did much running for running's sake, but I think this may become a permanent routine in my life -- and I think I may be starting to enjoy it. Today, I ran to the point of bleeding through my shoe. Please, no jokes about me bleeding pink.



D-Lo ran with me again and this time he brought a beanie for me too. Here we are making pre-run poses that far exceed our actual badness level:



Both times we have run together, Derrick has come to my side of the tracks, but next time, we're going to hit the streets of Dreaming Summit and see what sort of damage we can do there. I'm looking forward to a change of scenery.

5K - A Photo Essay

I spent the month of November training for a 5K race that took place on Thanksgiving Day. This picture of me flexing has nothing to do with that training, I just think it's a cool photo. Plus it's sure to be intimidating to all my foes (you know who you are).


These are the shoes and the new pedometer I bought prior to training. The shoes help me grip the pavement, and the pedometer shows me just how much time it takes me to run such a short distance. I'm pretty sure it makes fun of me when I'm not around.


This is my one-time training partner D-Lo. He was kind enough to join me one Friday for a run. I'm not sure why he wears that beanie -- he's already got a full head of hair to keep his dome warm. Maybe I should get one.


The 5K race took place in Fountain Hills, AZ at 7:30 on Thanksgiving morning. The whole night before, it poured down rain and only let up an hour before the race. It was a beautiful day for a trot.


Heidi and her sister Heather did the 2K fitness walk on the same day. This is us posing with the turkey mascot before the race began. That smile on my face is real.


This is about 1/3 through the race. At this point, I am still surrounded by a good handful of people -- the little 10-year-old girl running with her dad is not too far ahead of me. The only reason it looks like I'm running perpendicular to the crowd is because I am getting into position for my next photo.


This is the money shot. I love the look of determination on my face, my fists raised victoriously in the air, my gut and man-boobs flapping violently in the breeze. Unfortunately, this slight photo-op detour has put the 10-year-old and her dad out of my reach. The old man behind me, however, is going down!


This is the final straight-away. To my dismay, the old guy blew by me at about the half-way mark and I never really saw him again. At this point, no one is even running with me. The people on the left finished their race long ago, completed a full after-run stretching routine, downed some bagels and juice, took a dozen photos with the turkey mascot, and are now heading back to their cars.


Just a few strides away from the finish line at this point. Heidi is there cheering me on yelling, "You can do it Michael! Give it all you've got!". She told me later that she thought I would have kicked it up a notch on that last leg. What she didn't know is that I was giving it all I had. The remaining race-watchers were nice enough to shout some encouraging words to me while they waited for their 85-year-old wounded war-vet grandfathers to round the corner in their walkers. I could definitely feel them breathing down my neck that last quarter mile.


I'm now across the line. As I strain to fill my lungs with much-needed oxygen, the lady in blue takes a moment to check me out in my sexy, form-fitting red running shirt. I swear, sometimes a guy just wants to have a workout where no one ogles his rippling abs and rock-hard pecs. Am I nothing more than a piece of meat?


This close-up shot clearly shows the agony that I endured to get to this point. I had finished my first 5K run in 40:07 -- certainly not record breaking, but a steady 13.3 minute mile pace (pretty good for a fat guy). As my body began to recover, my eyes scanned the parking lot for the on-site ambulance and EMT team -- just in case.


As soon as I was certain that no medical intervention was going to be necessary, I stopped to take an after-race photo with my beautiful wife. I love that she was there with me, but that smile on my face is very forced. It took every last ounce of strength I had left to have my brain tell my facial muscles to make a smile. What a day!


Well, the first hurdle toward my ultimate 2009 resolution has come and gone. While I'm not terribly impressed with my 5K run, I think it marks an important milestone and showed me that I can improve. The idea of running 13.1 miles by next September seems daunting, but then again, so was the idea of running three miles by Thanksgiving.

Disneyland, here I come!

More Peas Please

I usually leave the family posts to Heidi's blog, but I had to share another fatherhood first with you (if you don't remember the first first, then click here to read it).

Sin-sen and I got to spend two entire days together while Mom was at a women's conference. In addition to the usual fun we have during father/son time, we got to try a new dish for lunch and dinner - PEAS! Other than baby cereal, the only thing we currently feed him from a spoon is avocado and green beans. Based on past experience, a distaste for peas is part and parcel to being a child, so I wasn't sure how this new cullinay experience would fare.

When lunch rolled around, Harrison must have been extremely hungry because wasn't even in the mood to play with his pre-meal toys. The initial bad mood made me wonder how this whole thing was going to end. Instead of boring you with words, I think I'll just show you how it all went down:



I think the kid likes peas.

Christmas Gift Idea

As part of a recent process of brainstorming various ways that I could earn a bit of extra money this Christmas, I thought up a t-shirt idea, designed it, and then published it on CafePress.com, an online company that specializes in custom-printed clothing. Here's my final design:



If you or someone you know is a political junkie (or just likes wearing cool, custom-made t-shirts), please pass along this link along to them. I earn a small amount of profit for each item sold, and that money will definitely be helpful in paying Harrison's final adoption fees (December 19 is the official date!). Any additional traffic you can drive to www.cafepress.com/the2grays will be much-appreciated!

Happy shopping!

Running for our Lives

I just returned from a Friday morning run (read: lumbering jog) with my good friend D-Lo. Since he has Fridays off, he was gracious enough to drive all the way to my house early this morning to join me in 2 miles of self-inflicted torture through the chilly streets of Avondale.

The photo above was taken just before we started. If I had taken another afterward, I would look like death warmed over and he would look pretty much the same as he does in this picture. Jerk. He makes it look so easy.

Hopefully, we can continue with this Friday tradition, and one day I may be able to keep up with him the entire time. If anyone else wants to join our running group, just give me a call. Maybe we can turn this living hell into a fun and challenging Friday mini-mini-marathon.

The Aftermath

Change We Can Believe In

This Halloween, be sure to remember that the harder you trick-or-treat, the higher the chance that someone's going to take a ton of your candy and give it to a kid who stayed home and played Grand Theft Auto IV all night.

This is What I Know

This is what I know - People make mistakes. Consequences are inevitable and oftentimes they can be painful. When we mess up, we'd like nothing better than to move on, forget the past, and continue living without suffering the inevitable consequences. But that's not life.

This is what I know - My adopted son was a mistake. The day he was conceived, he became equal amounts baby and consequence. As he grew each day in his young mother's womb, the world around him was waging war -- not for land or money or power, but for the heartbeat that pounded life through his little chest.

This is what I know - Some people wanted to eliminate his life. They didn't see his existence as a choice that had already been made, instead they weighed his value in terms of a choice that was yet to be made. They didn't see a self-inflicted consequence that needed to be faced, only an unjust punishment that should be avoided at any cost.

This is what I know - Some people refuse to see beyond the immediate. To these people, the value of my son's smile, his laughter, the way he kicks excitedly when I pick him up from his naps, were once on equal footing with a girl's impulsive decision to avoid the inherent consequence of a choice she already made. Because he was of no value to them, in their eyes, he had no value at all.

This is what I know - We almost lost him. Twice. The constant drumbeat of what some call a woman's right to choose almost cost the world a beautiful child. This young mother sat in the waiting room of an abortion clinic two separate times. Each time she felt a tugging inside -- a voice almost -- that told her not to take the easy way out. We realize now with great gratitude that the tugging was done on our behalf.

This is what I know - Some people saw a promise, not a punishment. Instead of telling her the fairytale that she could make it all just go away, they encouraged this young mother to turn her mistake into someone else's blessing. They didn't remove the consequence, they taught her how to find a way to make the best out of the outcome she brought upon herself. That is what life is about. Before we were ever in the picture, these people saved the life of my unborn son.

This is what I know - In a world where hundreds of thousands of couples long to have the opportunity to adopt and make an unwanted child a part of their family, advocating abortion is possibly one of the cruelest social views one can have -- both to the child and to potential parents.

This is what I know - We may never conceive a child. Because of people who could see beyond the superficial morality of our day, and because the birth mom ultimately listened to the tugging inside her, our inability to get pregnant became a non-issue in our journey to have a child. We have been blessed by someone else's biggest mistake -- and we couldn't be happier about it.

Father & Son Time

Tonight, Harrison and I got to spend some quality "man time" together with no Heidi around. She was at a baby shower with friends and left the two of us home for the evening. I was excited to have some special bonding time with my son.

Because men like to expend energy, we started the night of bonding by participating in a number of fun, physical activities. Harrison started with about 30 minutes of jumping time in his new Johnny Jump-Up. As you can see, he loves it.



Though I enjoyed watching him and taking pictures, I quickly realized that he was doing all the exercise and my tubby self was just sitting on the floor. Bonding should never be a one-sided affair, so I decided that I would lace up my new running shoes, put Harrison in the jogger, and pound the pavement for about an hour.

I don't have any pictures of us in action, but to prove that I actually did run I took a photo of my shoes and new pedometer. In case you can't read the display, it shows 3.26 miles. It's not much, but for a budding runner who is about 50 lbs. overweight its definitely an accomplishment (especially considering that I didn't fall over dead of a heart attack).



We returned and took some time to cool down. I set him in his Bumbo and placed it right in front of me as I stretched. He had a bit of a snooze on our run and seemed to be refreshed because he was making a lot of noise and smiling as I talked to him. Our night of father/son bonding was winding to an end and I was happy with the time we'd spent together.

As I picked Harrison up to take him into his room and change into his PJs, I realized that he had one more bonding experience planned before we officially called it a night. You remember when I said earlier that men like to bond through physical activities? Well, my son reminded me that men also like to bond through the hilarity of our bodily functions. As a vivid reminder of this fact, he did this:



If you think this looks pretty benign as far a diaper blowouts go, please know that the other half of this mess was all over my hands and forearms and extended from Harrison's rear up into his hair. I tried to clean him up with baby wipes, but only succeeded in getting poop on everything within a 3-foot radius.

I quickly decided that two things needed to happen immediately. 1.) I needed to get the heck out of that room before my vomit became an added part of the mess, and 2.) I needed to get him into the tub because the only thing that would clean this kid properly was the pulsating massage setting on the shower head.

After his impromptu bath, I took my freshly-cleaned child back into the room -- which now had a foreboding green cloud billowing from the door -- to get a clean diaper, the baby lotion, and his pajamas. I snapped this photo on my way back out:



After this unplanned 30-minute interruption of frantic screaming (me), dry heaving (also me), and joyous splashing in poop-water (that would be Harrison), I finally held my son in my arms, fed him his bottle, prayed over him, kissed his sweet sleepy face, and laid him down for the night.

Sometimes the things you least expect make the best memories. I'm sure I will remember this night as long as I live.

Let Me Xplane

For those of us who don't quite understand how the economy got to where it is today:



Thanks to Jeff Schinella for pointing me to this video.

We're Losing the Fight

This post was inspired by and is, on some level, a response to a recent entry on Derrick's blog.

The Visiting Team

Christianity is losing ground each day in America. My pastor describes it best when he says that the church is no longer the home team in American culture -- we've been relegated to the status of visiting team. There was a time in our nation's history when going to church was a given for most families. That time has come and gone.

According to a 2006 study by the American Church Research Project, less than 14% of Arizonans attend a Christian church on any given weekend. That's 86% of our friends and our neighbors who don't have the time, energy, or most importantly, the desire to darken the door of a local church. The rest of the nation doesn't fare much better.

Many speculations exist about why churches in America are drastically losing influence over our culture. Some might say that the church is irrelevant because it hasn't kept up with the changing times. Others might contend that it's because churches are full of hypocrites and the average American can't stomach the two-facedness. Still others might say that people have finally outgrown the fairytale notion of an all-powerful puppetmaster controlling the universe.

All of these are contributing factors in their own right, but to me the two biggest reasons we are losing the hearts and minds of the American public are:

1.) Secularism is constantly calling Christianity to the mat in the public square and Christians are largely unwilling or just plain afraid to step up to the fight. When one side levels a challenge and the other backs down, people assume that the one who shied away is the weakest. We are losing one of the world's most one-sided PR battles because we have conditioned ourselves not to push back for fear that we'll come across as judgmental or be labeled a fundamentalist.

2.) This deep-seeded fear of labels has changed our focus. Christians are increasingly more concerned with whether or not we're culturally relevant than whether or not we're Biblically relevant. You see, biblical relevance has a higher tendency to cause people to be labeled intolerant or hateful because the Bible is a counter-cultural text. Cultural relevance, however, concerns itself more with how we are viewed by society and prompts us to avoid being counter-cultural so that we can be in good standing with them.

"God Hates Fags"

Here's a great example of how we're losing the PR battle in America. When you read the disgusting subheading above, what group of people comes to mind? If you were a non-religious person, you would most likely think "Christians". You see, when Fred Phelps and his ridiculously small and ridiculously over-aired group are featured on the news picketing the funeral of a gay man, little to no time is given to explain to viewers that this group of people are plainly shunned by the vast, vast majority of churches. Instead, the secular powerhouses that we call the news media and the local university devote their time to dissecting why Christians hate gays.

I have been part of a number of conversations where the person I'm talking to is accusing Christians of being hateful to gays. When I ask for an example, Phelps and his sick family are commonly brought into the equation. It doesn't matter to people that their influence on Christianity is a zero. It doesn't matter that other Christians have publicly opposed them. What matters is that the secular world has painted their picture of Christians, and society consumes that image day after day.

What happens in response to this can only be explained as Christians shooting themselves in the foot. Instead of standing up and making it clear to the world that our stance is nothing like the stance of Phelps, many Christians treat his worldview as if it were a legitimate and embarrassing segment of our religion -- because that is what the media says. So instead of saying plainly that those views are in direct opposition to our beliefs, we validate society's accusation of our homophobic status by believing ourselves that Christians by and large are gay-haters.

As an example, here's an exact quote from Derrick's recent post: "You see... for Christians... homosexuality is like the plague. We stay so far from it, like we'll get Satan coodies [sic] if we actually meet a gay person. The thought of having gay friends makes us feel dirty... kinda like listening to a "secular" song and liking it. " (Read it in complete context)

While I do not for a second doubt Derrick's heart behind this, it makes me cringe a bit because it sounds exactly like what one might hear on a college campus or from the lips of Bill Maher. Derrick says it to challenge his fellow Christians to consider their attitude toward gays, and I love that. What kills me is that the ever-growing non-Christian world doesn't make that distinction, but instead uses this sort of statement as "proof" that they were right about us in the first place -- and the stigma of homophobic Christians sinks deeper into the mindset of society.

Unfortunately, the average American isn't likely to experience another perspective on Christianity unless they attend a church, which they're far less likely to do now because who would want to spend their weekend hanging around a bunch of judgmental gay-haters anyway?

Don't Judge Me

A Christian's understanding of right and wrong is supposed to be determined by the Bible, while Secularists are -- within themselves -- the ultimate source for right and wrong. This worldview of moral relativism has slowly crept into mainstream Christian thought as evidenced by the popular notion that Christ says plainly that we are never to judge others, just love them ("Do not judge, or you too will be judged." ~Matthew 7:1). Non-Christians love to cherry-pick this verse, and most Christians tend to shrink back when they hear it for fear that the words "intolerant", "unloving", or "judgmental" will be thrown around next.

Christians, does Jesus really command us to refrain from holding people to any standards? Taking this verse alone and out of a broader Biblical context might suggest just that. But what, then, do you do with John 7:24 where Jesus says, "Stop judging according to outward appearances; rather judge according to righteous judgment”? This verse taken alone seems to argue that he does call us to judge. So what's the deal?

What I believe the verses on judging teach is that if you say to someone, "I'm going to hold you to such-and-such standard," then you need to be ready and willing to be held to that same standard. Let me give you a personal illustration of this:

I'll be honest - I'm about 50 pounds overweight and I rarely eat healthy or exercise. If a friend of mine is also overweight and I constantly badger him about the fattening foods he eats or the exercises he should be doing, but don't put those standards into practice myself, what good am I? Before I hold my friend to a standard (judge him), I need to prepare myself to be judged by the same standard. Using my fitness illustration, this verse might sound more like, "Don't criticize your buddy's love handles, or he'll have the right to criticize your man-boobs."

I don't think Christians can avoid having to uphold standards, but I think its clear that we need to promote our Biblical values while remembering to live them out (and we need to be ready to be judged by them as well). We need to worry less about cultural relevance where each person is his own value system, and worry more about the values given to mankind through the Bible.

This Post is Long!

Yeah, sorry about that.

I could honestly keep going for another ten paragraphs because there are so many tangents and details that I could discuss. Sometimes it becomes very difficult to consolidate my thoughts and still communicate clearly. I have very deep convictions on the Christian worldview and the reasons why I think were losing the fight for the hearts, minds, and souls of the American people. For the sake of my fingers and your eyes, I'll have to leave this post as it stands now and hope that it has caused some people to think twice about their views.

If you have any comments, rebuttals, or criticisms, I welcome them -- though I'm not prepared to accept any workout or dieting advice at this time :).

Thanks for reading.

The Greatest Illusion of All Time

Arguably one of today's most talented illusionists, David Blaine can be seen on TV and all over YouTube performing incredible bits of street magic that always generate confusion and wonderment with onlookers. His tricks are very unique and complex, and he pulls them off with a deadpan effortlessness that gives him an increased air of mysticism (and sometimes creepiness).

Tonight, ABC had a two-hour special on Blaine's career that ended with a never before seen stunt/illusion called the "Dive of Death". For the one hour and 55 minutes leading up to the final performance, they showed the typical stock footage clips of him walking up to people on the street and performing for them, intermingled with childhood photos and him doing a voice-over of how he became interested in magic. While most of the tricks were interesting, two hours of this got old pretty quickly.

Finally, the time for the last stunt had arrived and Heidi and I sat on the edge of our seats to watch the illusion we had been waiting two hours to see. The host had been promo-ing the final trick before every commercial break saying that, while no one but David knew what the "Dive of Death" was going to be, it was sure to be incredible. Our time investment in the program was proof enough that we were looking forward to seeing it.

And then it happened -- we witnessed the greatest illusion of all time.

The true illusion was not the "Dive of Death" as the network would have you believe. No, the true illusion was the promise that if we sat through the entire program, we would see something remarkable. That's right, we sat in our living room for 120 minutes to see Blaine's lamest stunt of all time. I can't even explain with words how benign it was.

As the final credits rolled, Heidi and I sat in a completely different form of wonderment than we expected, and both of us wondered how in the world we allowed ourselves to be unwitting participants in the greatest illusion of all time.

PG-13 Politics

I realize that this is all over the internet, but I just had to post this video here because it cracks me up. If you are offended at PG-13 dialogue, then you probably never watch Saturday Night Live and won't be missing out by clicking along to the next blog on your list anyway.

For the rest of you sickos, enjoy:



Please forgive me in advance for the Splenda commercial.

Bloodlines

Today we had the dedication ceremony for Harrison at our church. Below is the text of a letter that I read aloud to him at the beginning of the private ceremony. Heidi wrote these words last week, and I believe that they are among of the most powerful and inspired words I will ever read:

Harrison,

A few months ago, we adopted you into our family. We don’t know why God didn’t allow mommy to carry you in her tummy, but we do know that God designed you specifically to be a part of our family. You were intended from the very start to be with us, and we have prayed for you for many years. But, our adoption of you is not the most important one you will ever have. We pray that one day you will be adopted into the family of God, by accepting the gift of Jesus Christ as your Heavenly Father. And one day, we pray you understand, that we are united by a bond that cannot be broken -- not because of the blood that flows through our veins, but because of the blood that flowed down the cross.

Love,
Mommy and Daddy


Photos from the dedication and more thoughts from Heidi can be found here.

Please Love Me!

Bloggers are interesting people.

We like to think that our thoughts and our writings make a difference in the world. From time to time, we have the proclivity to develop a slightly over-inflated ego about our own self-importance (come on now all you bloggers, just admit it). It's easy to slip into saying things like, "You really need to check out my latest blog post," or "You mean you haven't ever visited my blog?" We don't mean to sound conceited, we just think you would benefit from hearing our thoughts on life.

Winning you as a reader is a small badge of honor. If you actually subscribe* to our blog, we feel like we've just earned the Congressional Medal of Honor. We love to feel important.

A friend of mine has this shirt and it cracks me up because it unapologetically smacks us bloggers across the face with the reality of our actual importance:



This applies to most bloggers. However, if you are some one like Jon Edmiston you have an actual following and your thoughts actually are important to the world.

The rest of us hate envy people like him.

*You can subscribe to this blog through an aggregator like Bloglines or use the links on the right to get you connected to the words and musings of Michael Gray. Hey, I may be shameless, but I'm not stupid. I'm hoping to break the 20 subscriber barrier! Woot!

In the Shadow of the Moon

Heidi and I just finished watching an amazing Ron Howard documentary called "In the Shadow of the Moon," which tells the story of the men who flew the six Apollo moon missions between 1969 and 1972.

I was surprised to learn just how fragile these missions were. President Kennedy's call for America to land a man on the moon by the end of the 60's was not merely something he said when NASA was all ready to go; it was a huge, visionary leap into the unknown realms of science and technology -- and America's best and brightest answered that call.

These men, in the face of extreme pressure and relative uncertainty, flew their missions flawlessly. Their experiences punctuated a very tense chapter in American history (Kennedy assassination, Martin Luther King, Jr. assassination, rising racial tensions, and the Vietnam War) with a feeling of patriotism and accomplishment that has not been rivaled since.

Hearing these remarkable astronauts tell the story of their training and missions is inspiring.

What an amazing generation of men.

Parenting Tips - Week 1

As a new father, its important for me to read books and articles that help me to become the best dad I can be for my son. I want to learn from the wisdom of those who have traveled the road of fatherhood before me, and I want to impart that wisdom to others.

Fortunately, I have found some foundational tips for new parents and I am able to present them to the world without requiring any reading for those who wish to learn (lets face it, new parents don't typically have the energy to burn through a book without falling asleep between chapters anyway).

This week's topic:

Nutrition and Your Baby: Feeding Tips for New Parents

09.06.09

This is Tough to Watch

That Sounds Too Starbucksy

Long post, but it's an important issue:

A popular trend in modern American churches is to buck religious traditions in an effort to open new doors for people to hear the gospel. While I can certainly understand and agree with that end goal, I occasionally grow uneasy with the lengths that some churches go in the effort to distance themselves from religious practices of the past. The effort to remove "churchy" language from church is one that keeps me going back and forth.

One of the greatest historical examples of challenging religious tradition and churchy language is when Reformer John Wycliffe pushed to have the traditional Latin translation of the Bible translated into the "common tongue" of English. Wycliffe's reason for the language change was because "it helpeth Christian men to study the Gospel in that tongue in which they know best Christ’s sentence."^[1] Before that time, the Roman Catholic Church demanded that all religious instruction and observances be carried out in Latin, which was considered the language worthy of the majesty of God. Unfortunately, only the wealthy and well-educated of the 14th century were able to read or understand Latin; the common people were left in the dark.

Nowadays, some churches work very hard to keep religious language on the same level with the modern culture, many by trying to remove any language that sounds churchy. Though I am all for making the gospel accessible to all people, I sometimes wonder if these churches are washing away some of the most important characteristics that distinguish Christianity from popular culture.

One of our pastors, Paul Wilson, made a comment a few weeks ago that made me rethink the wisdom of removing religious language from our daily conversations. We think that asking people to operate within the realms of our culture is somehow a barrier to them being able to connect with Christ. Paul pointed out that, if you look at the Starbucks Coffee chain, their language and environment unapologetically requires that you assimilate into their unique culture.

They call their drink sizes tall, grande, and venti. You can come in and order a medium [insert drink here] and they'll kindly respond by saying, "OK, that's a grande [insert drink here]?" They do not apologize that they have their own language at Starbucks -- in fact that's a characteristic that helps them stand out from other coffee shops. Their thousands of customers create a rather solid confirmation that using language unfamiliar to the average person does not turn most people away. In fact, most customers eventually begin to learn the Starbucks lingo and make it a part of their vocabulary.

What if, instead of filtering every word of our church language through the lens of pop lingo, we retained some mystery to our vastly unique culture and asked others to take part in learning it for themselves? Would that make Christianity more or less appealing?

I'm not sure I know the answer to that. What do you think?

^[1] Paul D. Wegner, The Journey from Texts to Translation (Grand Rapids: Baker, 1999)

A Surprise Party of Sorts...

Today is Heidi's 29th birthday. I have covertly set up a post on her blog where people can go to send her a quick happy birthday message. Please take a moment to let Heidi know that you are glad that God put her on this earth. I know I am.

My Kind of Environmentalist

In a world that has become so insanely hysterical about global warming, it's refreshing to hear someone -- especially a celebrity -- talk about caring for the environment without predicting the end of the world or defending the moral necessity of investing in carbon credits (don't even get me started).

This interview with Dirty Jobs host Mike Rowe, appeared in this month's issue of Men's Health magazine and I wanted to share part of it here. With Rowe as our spokesman, real men can care about the environment again without looking like a bunch of wacko greenie pansies.

Was that a bit too harsh?

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There's a rumor going around that Dirty Jobs is the greenest show on television. Does that surprise you? Not really. I'm the one spreading it.

Any truth to it? Plenty. More than half of the 200 jobs we've profiled in the past 3 years benefit the environment in a direct way.

Why do you think people have been slow to notice? Because Dirty Jobs has no environmental agenda. We're not trying to save the planet or call attention to the latest crisis. We're just profiling real people who work hard and get dirty in the course of putting bread on the table.

You're talking about garbage haulers and sewage workers? Yeah, but I'm also talking about entrepreneurs. Like the guys in Florida who scuba dive for golf balls in alligator-infested water hazards and resell them online. Or the dairy farmer in New England who markets biodegradable flowerpots made from cow poop. Or the pig rancher in Las Vegas who collects leftovers from casino buffets and feeds the slop to his swine. These people are greener than Al Gore in a cabbage patch.

Is that what you meant when you told Larry King “brown is the new green?” Actually, what I said was Brown before Green. Like in the dictionary.

So your position on the issue is alphabetical? That’s funny. Very few people who want to talk about the environment these days have a sense of humor.

Why do you think that is? Because the “Greens” have been busy scaring the crap out of us. Haven’t you heard? “Your SUV is melting Greenland. Your hairspray put a hole in the ozone. Your kids are going to inherit a charcoal briquette.”

Well, the stakes are a little scary. Should we really be laughing about global warming? No. But relying on fear and guilt to modify behavior usually leads to comedy. Like in the hardware store, where they tell me the plastic rake in aisle 4 is “environmentally friendly” because it doesn’t use wood. Then, further down the same aisle, they promote a steel rake with a wooden handle as “environmentally friendly” because it uses a “renewable resource.” What a crock. I still don’t know the right answer to “plastic or paper?” Does anybody?

You seem a little agitated. I am. Look around this hotel room. Nice, right? Well there's a sign on the back of my toilet that says, "It's Your Planet—Keep It Green!" The sign is covered with little raindrops with sad faces drawn into them. What do you think they're trying to tell me? You think they're trying to save water by asking me to not flush my pee?

So you have a problem with saving water? Not at all. Hell, I'd pee in the shower if it'd save me money. The thing is, who enjoys the savings? Do you think I'll be seeing a discount when I check out? Some sort of urine rebate?

Uh . . . probably not. Hotels are saving millions of dollars by guilting their customers into forgoing fresh towels and linens in the name of environmental responsibility. Those same hotels are happy to sell me a bottle of water for $5—a plastic bottle, no less! You have to laugh.

So you’re sympathetic to the cause, but critical of what exactly - the execution? If we’re talking about the importance of cleaning up after ourselves and leaving a light footprint, I’m all for it. But really, I’m tired of being lectured by people who care more for the planet than the people on it. There’s a lot of “inconvenient truth” in the environmental movement, and a ton of manipulation. That leads to hypocrisy and opportunism.

You’ve put some thought into this. I’m not done. The people I meet on Dirty Jobs would never describe themselves as “green,” yet they do more to clean up our environment in the course of making a living than any celebrity ever will. If you were looking to launch an environmental awareness campaign that real people can relate to, I’d say “Get Down with Brown,” and hire a plumber to act as spokesman.

So you’re not impressed with the efforts of people like Al Gore and Leo DiCaprio? I’m not going to question anyone’s agenda or motive. But I strongly suspect that millions of responsible Americans who see themselves as environmentally conscious have been turned off by the marketing of green, and might feel uneasy about falling in line behind movie stars and politicians. Celebrities might generate awareness, but flying around in private jets and being famous doesn’t help our environment. Picking up other people’s garbage does.

Butt-Borne Diseases

Updated Monday, July 21

Let the record show that the largest percentage of readers polled (42%) agree with me that toilet seat assessment is the way to go when considering the use of paper seat covers. In a close second, 35.5% of people opt never to tempt fate and would cover the seat every time, even at Martha Stewart's house. And bringing up the rear (no pun intended) is the 22.5% of people who were raised by monkeys and think that personal hygiene is merely a fad.

Let the record also show that this post garnered more comments than the one celebrating the birth of my son. I have a very peculiar reader base.

Thanks everyone; this was fun!

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Do you always use the provided toilet seat covers in restrooms?

I discussed this with Cameron today and we have somewhat differing views. He says that he would never think of not using a seat cover and I am all for assessing the restroom's cleanliness level before making a decision either way. If the restroom appears clean, then I have no issues. If I am at the airport in Reno, however, I will always opt for protection.

So what about you? Please take a moment to respond to my official, scientific poll on the right-hand column. If you decide to participate, you are required to be 100% honest -- don't worry, you will remain anonymous.

The poll closes a week from today, so weigh in now [poll closed]

If you simply want to make fun of me and tell me how disgusting I am for selectively using the seat protectors, the comment link is below. Try to be kind.

Woman Gives Birth to Middle Linebacker

HOUSTON, TX - A local couple who thought were going in for a routine C-section delivery of their first child were surprised to discover that their little bundle of joy came out to be an unusually big bundle of joy. Brayden Brooks Gray, newborn son of Jonathan and Michelle Gray of Kingwood, birthed in at 10 lbs. 10 oz. and just short of 23 in. long.

While the delivery was routine by all medical standards, doctors were baffled at what they saw as Brayden was removed from his mother's uterus. "I couldn't believe my eyes," said the on-call obstetrician. "I have never delivered a baby with a football helmet already strapped to his head."

Along with the helmet, baby Gray was reportedly also born with a full set of shoulder pads, cleats, and what appeared to be an NFL contract postdated for 2026.

"I was amazed," said new father Jonathan. "Not only did I witness the birth of my first child, but I also got to meet the youngest-ever NFL draft pick -- all from the comfort of a sterile maternity ward operating room." New mother Michelle only commented by saying, "Cleats?! Thank God for epidurals!"

By press time, the team logo on the helmet could not be confirmed. Some medical staff insist that it was the Houston Texans, while others bitterly contend that they saw the tell-tale Dallas Cowboys star. One orderly made the suggestion that he believes that it may have been a Denver Broncos helmet. Police are still on scene investigating his murder.

For now, the Grays seem content with their new baby and insist that they're not going to give him any special treatment just because he is already favored to lead his team to a decisive victory in the 2028 Super Bowl.

"We are just glad he's healthy," said Jonathan, "and that we can pay down our medical bills through the sponsorship we just signed making him the spokesman for Gatorade's new Breast Milk Mountain Blast energy drink."

Hear the Debate

It turns out that the link to the debate I posted below is no longer on iTunes. I have included it here in mp3 format so that you can listen directly from this page:



If you enjoy this episode of the Dennis Prager Show, I strongly recommend that you subscribe to the free podcasts of his show. It's not all politics -- he covers a wider range of interesting topics than any talk show host I have ever heard. Even my wife loves listening to him -- and she hates talk radio.

I specifically recommend that you check out his weekly Male/Female hour. His insights on marriage and male sexuality are spot-on and he holds nothing back. If you are married (man or woman), your thinking will definitely be challenged.

Sleep Deprivation

Many of you who know me well can attest to the fact that my mind doesn't react favorably to being tired (or on heavy medication). When it gets late, I tend to lose that filter that usually rests somewhere between my brain and my mouth. This makes it possible for me to say things that I normally wouldn't on any given afternoon -- nothing cruel or nasty, just different from my normal self.

Now that Harrison is here, I have many more opportunities to be filter-less. In fact, my lack of sleep is even taking a toll on my actual sleep time. It seems that I have developed a proclivity to walking and talking in my sleep (ala Greg Rohlinger).

Here are two incidents from this past week that my wife told me about:

Heidi woke up at 1:30 and noticed that I wasn't in bed. She came out to the living room and found me laying on the couch in the dark and asked, "Babe, what are you doing out here?" My response was, "I'm just uploading videos! You wouldn't understand!" I remember nothing.

The other incident was a few nights earlier. Heidi had just finished feeding Harrison in the living room, laid him down in his crib, and crawled back in bed next to me. I greeted her by saying, "I don't know who you are, but I'm sure glad you're here." Just so you know, wives love to hear that from their husbands.

People always tell me not to wish away Harrison's life by looking forward to him growing up, but I believe that the day he starts sleeping through the night will be a glorious one in my life. I doubt I'll look back in 20 years and think, "If only I had never wished away that time in Harrison's life when I wandered aimlessly through the house at night and said strange things to my wife, my dog, and any inanimate object I ran into."

I love my son, but I need my sleep!

Independence Day

Happy 4th of July everyone! We are blessed to live in a land where freedom and liberty are ways of life, not something we have to fight for every day. Let's remember the sacrifices and courage of the millions of others who have made America what it is today.

God bless America!

Let's Be Clear

Politics is a necessary evil. It can be so maddening and full of hype that many people decide to completely ignore what is happening in the political realm and choose to turn their attention to more easily-digested forms of sadism (like watching Wipeout).

Even though politics can be frustrating, I believe that it is important for each voter to take a good look -- beyond mere emotions -- at what's at stake. While many political junkies are obsessed with trying to convince you to jump on their party-line bandwagon, I think its more important to get a clear grasp on where each party really stands so that you can be well-informed enough to make a confident decision in the voting booth this November.

One great way to be clear about the differences between the parties is to listen to this exchange between conservative radio talk show host Dennis Prager and liberal newspaper editor Arriana Huffington. I promise that this is no shouting match, its both friendly and respectful. More importantly, it draws a clear distinction between the parties and their political and social ideals.

Clicking the image below will open up an iTunes podcast screen where you can download and listen to the debate for free. Its about 35 minutes long, but well worth every second. If you don't have the time now, I recommend that you download it to your iPod and listen to it at work or in the car.

Update: This link now points to a new post with audio streaming.



If you are not interested in taking the time to understand the deep and dividing differences represented in the upcoming election, then this video will probably be of more significance to you as the election draws nearer:

Authenticity

Is it always best to be totally authentic in public, to be completely true to your thoughts, feelings, or perspectives, as opposed to covering up your true self or "wearing a mask"?

Most people's first inclination would be to say that we should strive to "be ourselves" at every opportunity and in all situations. Obviously, no one thinks that being brutally honest 100% of the time, with no consideration for the feelings of others is a good thing, but I think that most people in society today would say that authenticity is generally better than hiding true feelings. That sounds good in theory, but in practice it doesn't seem to me to be a positive habit, especially when other people are involved.

If I am going to a BBQ with friends and my wife and I get into a heated argument on the way, my authenticity would dictate that I enter the house with the same attitude of frustration that I left the car with. But who in the world wants to be at a BBQ with a couple who are so visibly in conflict? It seems to me that it would be pretty selfish of me to impose my foul mood on the rest of the people I interact with that day. Don't I have an obligation to hide my feelings and do whatever I can to enjoy (or at the very least act like I am enjoying) the party? Is that fake? Yes. Is it the best thing to do? Yes.

Dennis Prager, one of the clearest-thinking and most influential people on my thinking, has written and spoken extensively on the problems with people who refuse to act happy when they don't feel happy. He believes that acting happy is a moral obligation. We cover up our "authentic" body odor with deodorant and bad breath with mouth wash because we don't want to impose our nastiness on others, but many people don't hesitate to impose their emotional nastiness on everyone.

Feelings are not good for making decisions on how to behave; they tend to be very inwardly-focused and completely ignore innocent bystanders. It's important to be aware of feelings of frustration or unhappiness, but if you wear those feelings on your sleeve all the time, that "authenticity" tends to spill over onto others, usually in a very negative way.

We should always be mindful of the impact of our attitudes on the people around us, even if it means that we throw our precious authenticity out the window.

A Truly Amazing Story

Heidi and I have been blown away by the number of people who prayed for us as we awaited Harrison's arrival into this world and his arrival into our family. We knew that our friends and family were praying, but we are learning each day that many more people were lifting this adoption up in prayer than we ever realized.

I have had people I haven't talked to in years call or write to tell us that they had been praying. At church the other day, a lady we had never met in our lives came up, gave us a hug, and said that she was so happy that God answered her prayers. This woman never met us, but prayed to God on our behalf. How cool is that?

Perhaps the most incredible story of prayer for Harrison came this morning when my sister told me about her former boss' prayer:

In the days before we brought Harrison home, my sister was chatting with her old boss and he asked how Heidi and I were doing (we had met him on a trip to D.C. three years earlier). Erin explained the situation we were in and how we were worried that we may have to go back home without the child we have prayed so fervently for. He told her that he was heading out of the country soon and would be sure to say a special prayer for us.

A few days later, he was in Jerusalem, Israel on business. One day, he took some time to go visit The Church of the Holy Sepulcher (the traditionally accepted site of Christ's death, burial, and resurrection). While he was there, he purchased a prayer candle on our behalf, had a priest bless it, and placed it at the location where Jesus is believed to have been crucified. His prayer for us was that the child would be ours.

This happened on Friday, June 6 -- a few hours before Harrison officially became our son.

Amazing.

Apparently, I'm a Sick Man

A number of people have made comments today that make me feel like I might be a complete freak of nature. I have seen some looks of mild-to-moderate horror and have noticed the slight wagging of more than a few heads indicating an unusual level of disgust with me. Even my wife has given me her rare but potent "I can't believe I married you" look. All of this is because I was genuinely looking forward to today's big event: Harrison's circumcision.

[Crowd gasps in horrific disbelief]

I'm not a sadist. I do have a heart. No, its not made of stone -- its made of flesh and blood just like yours.

I have always had a deep fascination with medical procedures, and I had never in my life seen a circumcision -- until today. I wasn't even sure how it was accomplished and I was totally curious to see it. Now, before you call Child Protective Services, please know that I take no pleasure in seeing or hearing my son in pain. The circumcision was going to happen no matter what, so why shouldn't be there to see it?

While Heidi sat in the waiting room a safe distance from where the procedure was done, I got to be there to next to Harrison, comforting him with my voice and a binky dipped over and over again in sugar water. The circumcision was fascinating like I hoped it would be (I'll spare you the graphic details), but I really loved that I could be there with my boy, whispering his name and telling him that I was there and that I love him. That was cool.

I went in today looking forward to the experience of seeing my first circumcision and left the hospital with a sense of gratitude that the medical procedure wasn't the most poignant memory I'd walk away with.

I may be a sick man, but I sure love being a dad.