Alternative Medicine

I love how so many of our friends have come alongside Heidi and me as we fight the war against infertility. All your prayers (mixed with 25 horse pills a day, special estrogen-suppression spray twice a day, and extra-potent testosterone cream each morning) have definitely been helpful.

Well, today we had a new weapon added to our arsenal. Pete Espinosa, one of the rockin' electric guitarists at Palm Valley Church, has personally loaned me what he considers a sure-fire cure: his old workout socks.


For those of you who may not have noticed, the writing on the bottom reads "survival of the fittest", and that is indeed a sperm on my ankle. I may be pressing my luck with 2 of my last 3 posts containing pictures of sperm. Sorry Jeanette :)

According to Pete, these beauties are not merely fashionable fitness footwear, but also lucky baby-making socks. These breathable cotton/poly blends are what Pete wore while training for a marathon during the same time of year that he and his wife were trying for kids (please take special note of the italics).

Since they have worked like a charm for him twice already, he generously decided to share the wealth with me. I'm hoping that the magic is simply in the socks and not in the marathon training -- if that be the case, I'm only going to be known to children as "Uncle Michael" for the rest of my life.

For you skeptics out there, you must know this: I put these socks on as soon as I got home from church, and then watched the Arizona Cardinals turn a 7 to nothing 1st quarter defeat into an incredible 21 to 14 win against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Coincidence you say?

I think not.

This is Messed Up

I just read an article about the guy who has prepared our taxes for the last four years. He is being indicted on 136 counts of tax fraud and forgery. Heidi and I knew something was up when our usual $2,000 tax return took a huge swing to become a $5,000 tax liability this past year.

Now it looks like the government might be auditing our tax returns for at least three years back (I think that is the statute of limitations on taxes). Just what we need.

What bothers me the most is that Heidi and I don't know a great deal about the insanely complex tax system, and we trusted this guy to prepare them for us. We never wanted to short-change the government, we just wanted to pay our taxes like other honest, hard-working Americans. Now we are going to have to take the hit to fix a situation that we didn't cause.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hate dealing with taxes!

Becoming A Man...Finally

I am less than a month away from my 30th birthday, and manhood is knocking on my door.

Most of you that know me well, know that Heidi and I have been unable to conceive a child due to major problems with my sperm. We have been undergoing fertility treatment for almost a year now. During a doctor's visit in early July, I learned that the problems with my sperm were rooted in the fact that my testosterone level was at a dismal 118 (normal levels are between 800 and 1,200).

Since then, I have rubbed testosterone cream on my leg each morning in hopes that I could induce a reversal in my levels. The minor side effects of this treatment make for some funny stories, most of which I will save for another time. One side effect is increased irritability -- which I generally don't recognize on my own. My wife, in her ever-so-tender and loving way, gently informs me about my aggression by saying something like, "Hey, take it easy now Testy Testosterone!" That's what she calls me. Testy Testosterone.

Well, I got the results of my latest blood work today and it looks like Testy Testosterone may be a name that sticks. My testosterone level is now at 785. I'm knocking on the door baby! I am excited that this treatment is helping and that God seems to be answering our many prayers. For those of you who already do, please keep praying that this trend continues.

Unmitigated Agony

I just encountered one of my biggest pet peeves in life -- I got a bowl and a spoon out of the cabinet, poured a nice bowl of Golden Grahams, and opened up the refrigerator to find that we were OUT OF MILK!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr....

What is one of your biggest pet peeves?

Its Traintastic!

Photography is something I have loved for a long time, but I don't spend a lot of time doing it. During a recent church video shoot in Riverside, Arizona, I snapped some photos for Ryan Nunez's son Eric. He is totally into everything involving trains (and even coins words like "traintastic" to express his train affection).

I was using the church's Cannon EOS Rebel XT camera (which I love as much as Eric likes trains). These photos are not likely to win any awards, but I thought they were cool. We'll know for sure if photographer extraordinaire Kim Logan leaves positive feedback. She rocks at photography.

Here are my photos:

"132 & Bush, I've Got Him at Gunpoint"

Just returned home tonight to seven squad cars and nine of Avondale's finest breaking up a big disturbance next door (involving at least ten people).

I have heard that the house next to us was turned into Section-8 housing last year. If that is true, I'd like to give a great big sarcastic thanks-a-lot to our state government for helping to turn a perfectly peaceful neighborhood into an episode of COPS.

The Mormons

Heidi and I just finished watching a fascinating four-hour documentary on PBS called The Mormons.

Growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah, I have had a great deal of contact with Mormons, and Mormonism is a religion that I know well. Just about every kid in the neighborhood or at school was Mormon. In fifth grade, social studies is dedicated to teaching about Utah's history -- which is essentially the story of the Mormon exodus from Illinois. My family has visited Temple Square many times, and we have taken the visitor tours which tell all about Joseph Smith and the revelation that gave birth to Mormonism.

Writing on the topic of Mormonism could take me in about 100 different directions. The Mormon story is definitely intriguing. It includes acts of terrorism, God-ordained adultery, separatist anti-Americanism, mass murder, death oaths, and black magic. On the other hand, the Mormon story also includes elements of strong family values, close-knit communities, worldwide evangelism, and fervent pro-Americanism. Its an interesting dichotomy.

One quote from the documentary sums up this fascinating religion's history by asking, "How do you go from being the ultimate outcast, to the embodiment of the mainstream in two generations? Its a breath-taking transformation."

It is indeed an amazing story.