Afternoon Tea at the Grand America

I just returned from experiencing an afternoon tea at the Grand America Hotel in downtown Salt Lake City. I'm sure that many of you manly-men might wonder why another guy would ever consider being within 100 yards of an afternoon tea, but it was really enjoyable.

This place is a 5-star hotel and is incredible. We (me, Heidi, my sister Erin, her husband Jared, and my mom) sat just off the main lobby where we were served finger sandwiches, scones, desserts, and of course tea. I chose a white tea, which I have never heard of before. It was great -- had a bit of a spicy, peppery flavor. Very unique taste.

While we sipped and ate, we listened to a very gifted harpist playing music in the center of the room. What is most interesting is that the harpist was Elizabeth Smart. You may remember a few years ago that she was kidnapped from her Utah home and forced to wander around the west in a disguise as one of the wives of some very bizarre self-proclaimed prophet/savior/messiah. She was rescued about a year later -- something that almost nobody could have predicted.

While listening to her play her harp beautifully, I began to feel bad for her situation. Here she was playing elegant music in front of people who recognize her and whisper comments to the people around them about what had happened to her. I'm sure that all the people who make comments do not mean to be rude or hurtful or judge her about anything, but I imagine that she feels a tremendous burden while she sits in front of people in such a public setting.

I imagine that each time she makes eye-contact with someone she wonders if they are thinking or talking about what had happened to her. Replaying bad memories on your own is problem enough, but I would guess that being reminded of your past in the eyes of a perfect stranger has to be even more difficult. I pray that she is able to live her life without the past constantly haunting her.

All things aside, she is an amazingly capable harpist and it was a pleasure to hear her play.

Devils, Black Sheep, Really Bad Eggs

I just learned of a very interesting online sweepstakes -- one that I would absolutely LOVE to win. If you go to www.disneypirates.com, you can enter a drawing to have your likeness added to the next ride update of Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland. Added as in have a new animatronics character that looks like you placed in the ride.

Wouldn't that be the most amazing thing -- to have thousands of people a day, from all corners of the globe, float slowly by your pillaging likeness? To remind friends and family to watch for you singing, "Drink up me hearties, yo ho!" while your new buddies dip the mayor into the well ("Don't tell heeem Carlos. Don't be cheeekin".) Or better yet, what if you got to sail by and see yourself place a bid at the wench auction to have that redhead as your bride (We want the redhead!)? That would be awesome.

In addition to the chance of becoming a part of Disney history, the winner will also get:

• A 3 day/2 night trip for four to Glendale, California where all members of the party 16 or older will receive a tour of Walt Disney Imagineering, the winner will sit with an Imagineer to do the artwork necessary, and the party will have lunch with an Imagineer.

• A 3 day/2 night trip for four to Disneyland, including the Pirates of the Caribbean suite at the Disneyland Hotel, use of a VIP tour guide at the park, park hopper tickets, covered meals (including one lunch at Blue Bayou), and a $100 gift card for buying merchandise.

I am so winning that.

Stick-on Bullet Holes

My amazingly great friend from college, Jason M. Hammond, recently participated in a stand-up comedy program for Disneyland cast members who had, at one time or another, worked as skippers on the world famous Jungle Cruise. This is a hilarious routine and I wanted to share it with you.

Please pardon all the filthy language (just kidding).



Hilarious Jay, just hilarious.

I'm Over it Now

Thanks to all of you who took the time to not only read my blog, but also offer up encouraging words to me. I really debated on whether I should post my last entry after I wrote it because I knew even at the time that I was being more emotionally-driven than clear-headed-driven (amazing, a three-hyphen word!). I decided, though, that writing down and saving feelings is rarely a bad thing -- even if they are the sort of feelings that are self-centered and melancholy.

What is interesting for me, is being in a good mood and going back and reading something that was written when I was in a depressed mood. I am not typically the sort of person who feels down too often. Generally, I am happy -- and that happiness is 100% genuine. I am a blessed person and I know that I get much more than I deserve from life. Sometimes my feelings get the best of me.

Feelings are funny things. In today's world, we always hear about how valuable our feelings are and how someone's feelings should always be validated, and never criticized. That is a load of stinky poo-dung.

I find that most of the time, feelings only serve to distort reality and promote a self-centric view of the world. I generally do not like to be around people who are always talking about their feelings because all they talk about is themselves and blame everyone else (or just life in general) for picking on poor little them.

You know these people -- they are the ones at your workplace who shuffle in each day with a pathetic Bassett Hound look on their faces. When you ask them, "How's it going?" they just sigh their heavy sighs and say something that corners you into asking them more questions out of guilt because you don't want to be known as the heartless guy who doesn't validate the feelings of the guy in the next cubicle/classroom/office/urinal over. These people are draining.

Now having said that, please know that I do not mind the occasional rough day or the occasional venting of feelings, which is what I believe that I did. By writing my feelings out, I got a chance (as did a handful of other people in my life) to see how obnoxiously selfish my feelings were, and I was able to get them out of my system within a few days.

It felt good to vent my feelings, but I'm over them now.

Regression...

Today, I am feeling a little down.

I feel like my kindness is not appreciated by those to whom I give it.

I feel like my potential is never recognized.

I feel like I am a terrible communicator.

I feel like no one takes me seriously.

I feel like I am a weak leader.

I feel like I can't find my footing in life.

I feel like I'm broken.

I feel like no one cares about my thoughts.

I feel like I am alone.

I feel like no one is going to read this.

I feel like others get recognition for every little thing, but I get none for big things.

During my high school and college days, I struggled with my self-esteem. This is certainly not something that anyone is surprised at because everyone deals with it at some time in his life. The thing with me, however, is that one day I just stopped not-believing in myself. To state it more clearly, I started believing in myself.

In my change of heart, I never became arrogant -- I just decided that in order to lead a meaningful life, I needed to be more confident in who I am. I know God made me for a positive reason and I didn't want to cheapen that. It irritated me that I always looked at what I was not compared to so-and-so and that others felt compelled to build me up -- not because I deserved it, but because they didn't want to be around a mopey person. I decided to stop comparing myself to others and focus on my abilities. And, for the most part, it has worked.

On occasions, like today for example, I get those old feelings creeping back into my mind. Sometimes I wonder if I bet on a lame horse when I decided to be more confident in myself. Its not like I am saying that I am worthless or that my life is meaningless; I just wonder sometimes how much worth I truly have or if my life has much meaning on the whole.

How important am I really to the people in my life? Some days, I just feel like I'm not at all.

The Road to Stardom

Hey, check out this video of our dog Bella on TV.

On Living a Life Void of Needless Complexity

The recent tragic news of the senseless and evil murder of Amish schoolgirls in Nickel Mines, PA has shoved the Amish community into the media spotlight again. It seems like any news coverage of any group of people, especially the Amish, must have the prerequisite of being saturated with sensationalism before it is broadcast. This is exactly what I'd imagine they don't want to happen.

While I understand that news stations are "required" to cover this breaking story because tragedy is considered newsworthy, I equally understand the Amish not wanting the "outside world" pointing their little cameras at every man in a wide-brimmed hat and every horse-drawn carriage they see. I think the peculiarity of the Amish community adds to the hype in immeasurable ways.

How peculiar to live in a society that holds fast to tradition and simplicity. How peculiar to live a life without technological advances. How peculiar that their families and their local church is held in such high regard, with such respect.

Peculiar? On the surface perhaps, but how many of us on some days would consider trading our cell phones, laptops, 51" widescreen televisions, daily commutes, tensions at work, and cookie-cutter homes for the life they live?

Can you imagine a life where you work the soil for a living? Where you wake up with the sun to tend to your animals and acres upon acres of fertile farmland? Where if you need a barn built, the entire community raises it for you in a matter of days? Where the local church and religious devotion are central to your everyday life? Where, if your daughter is senselessly murdered in school, you have an entire community to join you in mourning her loss?

We sometimes scoff at their simplicity, but oftentimes our complexity is what deserves the scoffing. Are we really better off in our HOA-regulated, hedonistic, technologically advanced lives than they are in their tightly-knit, community focused, blood, sweat, and tears life?

Sometimes I'm not so sure.

Wanted: Financial Peace

Having to deal with managing money in today's culture is a difficult task. Trying to figure and follow a budget is something that I know in my head is vital to living a life of financial peace. In practice, however, it is so difficult to follow through on. Life just seems to get in the way.

My wife and I were snagged by the thinking that getting student loans for college is essentially a mandatory situation. Both of us went to a private Christian school (expensive) and both of us paid for most of it with student loans. I want desperately to pay off these loans. The biggest problem with that is the fact that she is a public school teacher and I work for a church.

Now we feel so strapped to these loans (along with some relatively minor, but still annoyingly pesky credit card bills). Dave Ramsey, a nationally syndicated financial radio guy always talks about being in debt in Biblical terms of the borrower being slave to the lender. This sort of enslavement is very subtle and wears you down gradually, but wears you down nonetheless.

My church is starting a new Financial Peace University course -- written by Dave Ramsey, the Christian financial guy I mentioned before -- and Heidi and I are thinking of going. We took the course a number of years ago, but the fire to get out of debt that we had after taking it the first time has fizzled.

I very much want to take better control of my financial situation. I fear for the many people in America today who are living a borrowed life -- a life owned by their bank and leased to them at 24% interest. This system of spending money we don't have is not one to benefit the consumer in the long run, it is designed to benefit the banks, and the banks are winning.

I want out of this hamster wheel. I want to live a debt-free financial life that keeps me free from being enslaved to anyone else. I want to call Dave's show and scream, "I'm debt freeeeeeee!" What a day of true freedom that will be. Accomplishing this will be a tremendous feat because the biggest battle will be against my most formidable enemy: me.

I look forward to the day that I can blog about how I was able to get out of debt. I'm ready for a change.

A Life ~ Disconnected

Heidi and I have spent about a year and a half trying to get pregnant. Last month, we visited her doctor to consult with him about starting infertility testing. We were all set up to begin with Heidi having a -- get ready for this -- hysterosalpingogram (HSG), which is a test to help her doctor see if the issue of our infertility lie with her.

On the day of her appointment, we found out she was pregnant.

We were overjoyed at this because 1) we have been trying and praying for a pregnancy for so long, and 2) if we had not taken the pregnancy test, the HSG would have surely destroyed the embryo already growing inside her. On Tuesday 9/5, Heidi went in for a blood test and her hormone levels confirmed that she was pregnant. The nurse at her doctor's office congratulated us, set us up for our first sonogram, and set our due date at May 4.

This date could not have been more perfect for us. It would allow Heidi to finish the school year and leave with enough maternity time that she would not need to go back after the baby was born.

We commented to each other on how good God has always been to us. We were amazed at God's timing.

But what we thought was God's timing was not His timing at all.

On Friday of the same week, her blood test showed a decrease in hormone levels -- an indication of a possible miscarriage. No bleeding took place over the weekend, so she went in for her third blood test on Monday 9/11. We were trying to be hopeful and were praying that the dip in her levels would right itself in this test. Today, we got the results. An even lower hormone level -- an indication of a complete miscarriage.

We don't know if she will physically miscarry in the next few days, or if she did earlier in the month. The only thing we know is that the doctor indicated that Heidi was no longer pregnant.

This has taken a toll on both of us, but on Heidi more so. She went from preparing for an infertility test to learning she was pregnant for the very first time to having a miscarriage, all in the course of about a week. We went from thanking God for finally answering our prayers to dealing with the painful disappointment that He seemingly took His "yes" answer away from us.

But God is still good, and his timing is infinitely perfect -- even when we are blinded with discouragement.

We thought his "yes" was for a baby and we focused on that. When we found out that we would not be having a baby from this pregnancy, it seemed a bit like a cruel trick. But He did answer "yes" and He remains faithful to that response.

His "yes" answer was to let us know that we are capable of getting pregnant.

The timing was perfectly precise. We no longer need to spend hundreds of dollars to see if we can get pregnant; we now know we can get pregnant. While it still hurts to have our hopes rise and fall with such ferocity, what a blessing it is to know that God continues to keep our best interests in mind, that He deals with us in delicately powerful ways.

Thank you, God, for answering our real prayers, even though we are sometimes too farsighted to actually pray them.

MinistryCOM Conference

I just attended the second annual MinistryCOM Conference here in Phoenix. This conference was designed for church communications professionals (and amateurs alike). Since I am relatively new to the church communications scene, my church sent me to glean as much knowledge from the bigwigs that my brain capacity would allow.

I enjoyed the chance to meet people from all over the nation from all sorts of churches. The first day, I sat at a table with 3 women from Presbyterian churches in Florida and Texas, and one from a Lutheran church in Oklahoma. It was interesting for me to see that long-time traditional churches were investing money in sending their staff to a very forward-thinking conference.

The most worth-while sessions I attended were led by Dawn Nicole Baldwin with AspireOne, Jon Edmiston of CCV, and Kem Meyer of Granger Community Church. I think I liked Jon's session best because he gave us a great look into the specific target marketing practices that have been in place at CCV for about 16 years, and have helped make that church a successful ministry to the Peoria area.

I also spent some time talking to two guys with National Community Church in Washington D.C. These guys (Dave and David) do a good job on print, website, and video projects for their very media-heavy church. They helped me out by giving me advice for planning, organizing, and follow-through methods for large projects. I'm looking forward to streamlining my design process at Palm Valley using some tips from them.

Even though I enjoyed my time at the MinistryCOM Conference, I felt a bit like a senior taking a freshman-level college course. I'm not saying that I am an expert at all of this, but Palm Valley has presented me with an opportunity to work with a very cutting-edge church, and much of what I heard seemed like pretty basic stuff.

My goal is to simply find three specific things from the conference that I can take with me and implement in my job. After a bit of rest and time for reflection, I will try to outline the three most important things I learned in a new entry.