Pop Goes the Church

This video comes from Granger Community Church in Granger, Indiana. This was how they opened up the weekend service during a series titled "Get in the Game":



I grew up playing the old-school Nintendo and especially loved playing Mario Bros. (who didn't?). I also dream of being a rockin' drummer (who doesn't?). Naturally, I thought this video was awesome.

Even though I love this sort of thing, I must admit that I usually have a twinge of uneasiness when I see popular culture featured so prominently in church. This uneasiness lies in the fact that I feel like pop culture tends to blur the line between the sacred and the unsacred, between what is holy and what is commonplace.

Please understand that I am part of a church that deliberately appeals to the culture, and I love it. I do not sit in service sneering because I am offended at "that song" or "that video". I honestly enjoy most of what churches do to incorporate "cultural relevance" into their services. I also understand that churches like Granger do this primarily as an "in" to reach people for Jesus -- I do not doubt their intentions for a moment.

Still, I cannot seem to shake that nagging feeling that pairing the message of Jesus with pop culture only tends to cheapen Jesus. Do we honestly think that He needs our technology and music and graphic design in order to change lives? If the answer is "no", then we need to look really hard at whether or not our persistence toward cultural appeal is worthy of so much energy.

What do you think about this issue? Tell me why you feel the way you do about the church and pop culture.

Sidenote: The title of this post is taken from the title of a book written by Tim Stevens , the Executive Pastor at Granger. I have not read it yet, but I know from reading reviews that his book is really making people think about this issue.

A Tragic Story

I just read today that Christian music artist Steven Curtis Chapman and his family lost their youngest child, adopted daughter Maria, due to injuries sustained in an accident at their family home in Tennessee. The accident looks to have been caused when an older sibling unknowingly ran the child over in their driveway with the family SUV. Read the full article here.

My heart and prayers go up for this family as they are in the midst of this inconceivably horrible tragedy.

Dear Friends,

Please keep Heidi and me in your prayers over the next few weeks. Heidi will be flying next Thursday to Salt Lake City, Utah to stay with my parents and await the birth of our soon-to-be adopted son. His official due date is Friday, May 24. Heidi will be leaving right after the end of her last day of school so that she can be there when the birth mom goes into labor. Once the labor begins, Heidi will call me and I will catch the first flight I can get to Salt Lake. Hopefully, I can make it in time for the birth.

This news may come as a surprise to many of you. To be honest, this whole process began only six weeks ago, and we are even surprised by the speed with which this whole thing has happened. If you are only finding out for the first time, please know that we intentionally kept this under wraps until the decision to make us the parents had been made. Adoptions can be very uncertain and emotional ventures and, in an effort to guard our hearts, we decided not to go public until we had the final confirmation.

We know that many of you have been diligent in praying for us as we journey through our battle with infertility. Your prayers and ours are now being answered in the life of this precious gift, and we look forward to embracing him with open arms. Thank you to every one of you who have been praying for us. We cannot express enough how grateful we are to know that you have been lifting your hearts to God on our behalf.

The whirlwind story of our last six weeks is too long for me to explain right now. Just know that God has shown us tremendous power and unending grace through this, and that we are truly humbled by the experience. I will be sure to give you more details in the next week or so.

In the meantime, please keep the last leg of this process in your prayers. Specifically, please pray for the birth mom, Nichoal. She is 17 years old and has an opportunity to set a rather rough life on the right path after this adoption. She is a new Christian and has been working hard to follow God’s leading. Pray that she can have people come into her life (us included) who will encourage her to continue to fight against her crummy home life and change her future for good.

Thanks again for your prayers and your friendship. We are blessed beyond measure to know each of you.

Love,

Michael & Heidi

Why I Don't Watch the News

Modern television news media has become useless on so many levels. Sometimes I wonder how hard assignment editors have to work just to find stories to fill up their air time. The following video is a prime example of why I don't spend much of my time watching the local news.

Click on the picture below to view the news story; this is reporting at its crappiest:



Aside from the fact that this completely inane story made it to a live broadcast, I find it particularly bothersome that it aired within the first ten minutes of their 8:00 news (see the timestamp above). Where exactly is the newsworthiness of this story?

To make things worse, the City of Gilbert had to add their personal touch of absurdity by having Greg Svelund, the official city spokesperson, comment on the issue by saying, "I think this is something that can be solved with education." What?!

Here, allow me:

Dog Park Etiquette 101:

Lesson 1: Dog poop is stinky
Lesson 2: A lot of dog poop fermenting in one area is even stinkier
Lesson 3: To minimize the stink, pick up Precious' poop
Lesson 4: Should have told you before Lesson 3 to use the plastic bags and not your bare hand, you flippin' idiot
Lesson 5: Don't ever leave the house if you are dumber than your dog

I'm pretty sure that I just saved the taxpayers of Gilbert a lot of wasted education dollars.

In Memory

David G. Clingensmith, Sr.
March 31, 1931 - April 21, 2008

"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." Psalm 91:1

We will miss you, Grandpa.

This Has Been My Life:

Saturday, April 26 will mark the end of 44 days straight of this:



In my never-ending struggle to produce even the most minute amount of live, straight-swimming sperm, I have tried many unusual things. Some things have helped, some have hindered, but none have done the job they were ultimately supposed to do.

This photo represents my last medical effort. Time alone will tell if this final path of modern medicine can help lead Heidi and me to the final destination that has eluded us for so long now.

Just so you know, I hate needles. I can't tell you what a hurdle it was to stick this into my body for the first time. In case you were wondering, this shot is given intra-muscularly (meaning that I have to bury the needle to the hilt so that the fluid can be injected into the muscle). Learning to inject myself was definitely one of the biggest fear-overcoming situations in my life.

I love trying to overcome my fears, but I certainly won't miss these needles when they're gone.

I Miss Blogging

See above.

Toasted

Public speaking is not easy.

The fear of speaking in front of a group is one of the top fears in American society. Beyond simply overcoming the realization that all eyes and ears in the room are fixed on him or her (a realization that intensifies self-consciousness), a good public speaker must be interactive and engaging in order to be effective in delivering a message. Having to communicate under these circumstances can be daunting for anyone.

While I am generally comfortable around large groups of people, I am incredibly unconfident speaking in front of them. I don't mind the publicness of speaking, I mind the fact that I am oftentimes unable to communicate the message I want at the quality I want to deliver it.

In order to learn to overcome this life-long struggle, I went today to my first-ever Toastmasters International meeting. The goal of Toastmasters is to help you "become the speaker and leader you want to be," and these people aren't playing around.

Without going into too much detail about the meetings, the goal is to make attendees comfortable with public speaking by making them speak publicly. Then the rest of the group goes about dissecting the speech's content and delivery. Ultimately, the speaker gets almost immediate feedback on the shortcomings of his or her speaking ability. It can be nerve-wracking to have people pick you apart like that, but as long as you don't take things personally and you use the critiques to better yourself for the next speech, this group really seems to help.

Even though I was a first-time guest, the group gave me the opportunity to participate in what they call table topics. During this part of the meeting, members are all given a word of the day (ours today was goad). One person is then picked to stand up at the podium. On the spot, they are given a random topic to talk about for two to three minutes and they have to find a way to incorporate the word of the day appropriately in their presentation.

I was asked to talk about my first car, and I had to find a good place to use the verb goad. I started off fairly well and was enjoying myself until I said "ummmm" for the first time. Allow me to let you in on a little Toastmasters secret: they have a person at each meeting whose only task is to listen for "filler sounds" and then hit a desk bell each time the forbidden sounds are used.

The sound of that ringing in the middle of my speech was unnerving. In three minutes, I got dinged seven times. I could tell that the poor lady ringing the bell felt bad at having to keep picking on the new guy, but she was just doing her job. I was so frazzled at the bell that I kept losing my train of thought and I even forgot to use the word of the day. They were kind enough to let me know that everyone gets dinged a lot on their first try, and that I was nowhere near the group record of 17 dings.

Either way, I have a long way to go, and I'm sure I'll have more stories to come.

Pray for me.

Happy Easter!

I hope your Easter celebrations are a blast. Enjoy the time with family, the time to rest, and most importantly, the time you spend celebrating the fact that Jesus Christ rose from the dead in order to make it possible for us to spend eternity with him.

He is risen indeed!

I'm Not the Only One

This blog is subtitled "Uncensored, but Spell-checked" for a very good reason: I am very conscious of spelling mistakes. Certain events from my past have made me this way.

I remember in first grade making a poster-sized drawing of the Statue of Liberty (complete with picture-taking stick figure tourists) for the annual school-wide art show called Reflections. On the base of my rendition of the historic American landmark, I used a permanent marker and skillfully etched the words "Stachew of Liberty". When I showed my parents, my dad mentioned that I spelled "statue" incorrectly (for a first grader, I think I displayed great phonemic awareness with stachew). Despite my excellent sound-it-out skills, I was embarrassed to have the now unchangeable misspelling on my artwork, so I ended up cutting off the lower half of my drawing and submitted my rendition of the historic landmark from the knees up.

That's the first time I really became aware that spelling mistakes can be embarrassing, but it didn't make me permanently immune to the occasional misspelling. In fact, after graduating from college, I had a particularly funny Freudian-slip spelling error on the resume that I sent to various PR firms here in Phoenix. Rather than tell you the whole story, let me show you a picture I found recently that more than adequately explains the embarrassment I felt with my post-graduation spelling mistake:



Who knew that you could earn $145K - $204K per year with a BA in Pubic Relations? Talk about getting paid well for something that you love to do. If the VP makes that much, I wonder what the President makes...

Baby-Making 101 (Part 3 of 3)

Part 3. Please read Part 1 & Part 2 before reading this section.

If by any chance you are dealing with issues of infertility, this concluding part is sincerely dedicated to you and your spouse as you walk this road together. While I am really enjoying the chance to tell the humorous (and sometimes explicit) parts of our story, my ultimate goal is to provide encouragement to anyone going through the same feelings of disappointment, discouragement, heartache, and uncertainty that we have grown to know so well.

Special congratulations go out to Eddie & Jeanne James, who just yesterday (March 1), had their prayers answered with the birth of their daughter Nadia. We love you guys!

And....go:

After the “Beaches of Normandy” speech, he asked us questions about the things we were doing to get pregnant, and we explained which methods we tried (at least the ones we were comfortable admitting to trying). After hearing about all of our efforts, he gave us a piece of advice that is far more powerful than anything we got from any other source.

He said, “You know, so many people I see are so concerned with getting pregnant that they consume their lives with finding the magic bullet. Instead of focusing on each other, they try different methods and buy books and devices that claim to hold the secret. I always tell people that they are better off taking the money they would spend on ovulation kits, and spend every dime of it at Victoria’s Secret. Just focus on arousing each other and enjoying the intimacy, and pregnancy will come in time.”

Now, I would be lying if I said that the male side of me didn’t jump for joy at the idea of a Victoria’s Secret shopping spree, but the thing I appreciated most was that he refocused us what was most important in a marriage -- intimacy. Cultivating a strong bond with your spouse is more important to a healthy marriage than getting pregnant, and we realized that we had begun to seek pregnancy at the expense of remembering to enjoy each other sexually. We made a commitment that day to remember that sex is more than a means for producing children; it also provides a special connection that runs deeper than any other bond that any two people could have.

At the end of our appointment, Heidi’s doctor asked if he could pray for us. He knew from another conversation that we were both Christians, and we gladly accepted his offer. You don’t have to be religious to know that having another person pray for you can be a very moving experience.

I can’t recall his exact words, but I remember him praying for God to prepare us for and bless us with a child. At the end of his prayer, he looked up with tears in his eyes and thanked us for helping him remember why he does what he does day after day. What an amazing experience to go into an infertility appointment with nervous insecurity, and leave with peace in our hearts and a fresh perspective on God’s provision for our lives.

I know that some of you reading this may not have the experience of having someone pray for you to have peace in this time of uncertainty, so please allow me to offer up a prayer on your behalf. My hope is that this prayer can be as meaningful to you now as Heidi’s doctor’s prayer was to us that day in his office:

God, you know the pain and the uncertainty happening in this person’s life now. I pray that you send your peace to them now and that you keep their eyes on the fact that You have a plan for their life, and for the life of any child You choose to bless them with. Bring them encouragement through people in their lives, and help them to be an encouragement to others they know who may be struggling with difficulties in getting pregnant. God, more than anything, let them know that you love them. I pray this in the name of Jesus, who showed us love that is greater than any we could ever find. Amen.

Baby-Making 101 (Part 2 of 3)

Alas, you are now reading Part 2. If you have not read Part 1, please do so before continuing, otherwise none of this is going to make much sense.

For those of you like Anthony who are a bit squeamish around language referring to the female anatomy or detailing graphic descriptions of war, I'm going to go ahead and warn you that this post is rated:

While it was fun to try out new ideas, we grew increasingly frustrated that month after month we were having no success. It seemed that so many people around us were getting pregnant with hardly any effort at all, and here we were spitting on microscopes and standing on our heads in the nude. After more than a year of failed experimental baby-making, we decided that our difficulty with conceiving should be discussed with Heidi’s OB/GYN.

Needless to say, we were both worried that something major was wrong with us. We began to think that we might be told that we should get used to the idea that we would only be known to children as “Uncle Michael” and “Aunt Heidi”. Our first infertility appointment at Heidi’s OB/GYN was far more encouraging than we could have predicted.

Heidi’s doctor was a man that came very highly recommended by some friends of ours. As we sat in his office and explained our struggle with getting pregnant and our worries that we may never have kids, he listened intently. He reassured us that one year of trying was not as uncommon as we had thought. In fact, 60% of couples are unsuccessful in getting pregnant after one year of trying. Knowing that we were in the same boat as 60% of couples in America definitely helped in easing our nerves.

When we asked about the best frequency of sex (I was shamelessly hoping to resurrect the rock star sex), he gave us a very vivid analogy on how conception works. He started by saying, “You need to think of the vagina as the beaches of Normandy.”

Let me tell you, a doctor that explains medical details with World War II battle analogies is going to pique any man’s attention. I sat on the edge of my chair as he continued.

“Your goal is to take the beachhead, and you are going to need to deploy a lot of soldiers to accomplish your mission. Keep in mind that many of your soldiers will be lying dead on the beach, but all you need is one to get past the enemy lines and you have the battle won.

“Now, you don’t want to send your soldiers in a few at a time – that’s what happens when you try to have sex every day. You won’t have enough sperm to make much of an impact.”

Goodbye rock star sex.

“You need to make sure you have a good amount of sperm built up. I would say that trying every other day during ovulation is a good rule of thumb.”

I couldn’t believe my ears. My wife’s OB/GYN essentially wrote us a prescription for sex every other day during ovulation, and did it while deepening my American patriotism. This guy was good.

to be continued...

Baby-Making 101 (Part 1 of 3)

This post is a snippet from a chapter of a book I'm writing (current working title: Swimming in Circles: A Sperm Story). As you have probably already figured out, its a look into the lives of Heidi and me as we continue our long-running battle with infertility. I hope one day that it will be published. I thought I would post it here for your reading enjoyment.

Baby-Making 101

Throughout our first year of trying to conceive, we were willing to try just about any “secrets of the trade” in the hopes that it would improve our chances of getting pregnant. If you know of a manufactured or homemade method that worked for you or someone you know, I can guarantee that we tried it. Anyone who came to us with advice impacted our sex life in one way or another.

Some methods were scientific:

• Heidi would wake up each morning and, even before turning the alarm off, she would put a thermometer in her mouth and take her temperature. She even had a nice bedside calendar where she kept record of her early morning temperature-taking. Once she reached the appointed temperature, we would commence with the baby-making. It’s not as sexy to hear your wife say she’s hot for you when she means it literally.

• We tried a device which the writers of the book The Conception Chronicles affectionately dubbed “Spitnik”. Basically, each morning Heidi rubbed a small amount of her saliva on the glass lens of a compact personal fertility microscope and set it aside for a few minutes to dry. If she saw what looks like a fern pattern through the eyepiece, it meant that we got to hop back into bed and get busy. If she saw what looks like a close-up of dried saliva, it meant that I needed to take a cold shower and get ready for work.

Other methods were word-of-mouth cures:

• Heidi was told that she needed to elevate her legs over her head after sex. The naked headstands didn’t work for us.

• Someone else swore by the “Be Sure and Pee Immediately After Sex” method. I personally recommend the “Take a Ten Minute Nap After Sex” method instead.

• A friend of mine came up to me one day and loaned me what he said was a sure-fire cure: his old workout socks. He handed me a pair of bright blue, breathable cotton/poly blends with pictures of cartoon sperm on them. The socks had the caption, “Survival of the Fittest” sewn into them. Those beauties were what he wore while training for a marathon during the same time of year that he and his wife were trying for kids (please take special note of the italics). So far, the sperm socks have done nothing but give me athlete’s foot.

• My favorite approach was one I like to call the “Rock Star Sex” method, which required that we have sex every day during her ovulation period. While I knew this advice was surely the brainchild of some guy with no medical credentials whatsoever, I made sure that I supported it as a viable option each time we discussed getting pregnant. One month, my wife finally caved in. The Rock Star Sex method didn’t work one bit, but I personally found it to be the best way to fail at getting pregnant that I have ever tried.

to be continued...

Read Part 2

The Oprah Cult

Today is President's Day and -- I can't believe I am actually admitting to this -- I spent part of my day off from work watching Oprah. Before you judge me, just know that she had the voice-over cast from Horton Hears a Who (Jim Carrey, Steve Carrel, and Carol Burnett) on the show. It wasn't an Oprah's Book Club episode or anything.

I realized something disturbing today as I watched the show -- Oprah's fans are crazy (not fun-crazy like your best friend from college, but crazy-crazy like Robin Williams all jacked up on Ecstasy). Anyone else out there think that the people in Oprah's audience are bizarre?

People say that religious organizations are cultish, but I have never seen anything that can compare to the following that Oprah has. These people are out of control.

What do you think?

I Heart Starbucks

We've all been here before:

Terrorism is in My Blood

No, this is not a photo of Kevin McCallister's eerie, snowshovel-wielding neighbor in Home Alone.

This is my great great great grandfather, Ira S. Hatch -- a man with a very interesting past.

I have known for years that Ira served his LDS (read: Mormon) mission in the Navajo/Paiute regions of Southern Utah and Northern Arizona and New Mexico. His second wife was Sarah Maraboots - daughter of a Navajo chief. By all historical accounts (read: Mormon genealogies) his work and deeds–not just as a missionary, but as a frontiersman–were legendary.

What I have learned recently is a bit more disturbing.

On September 11, 1857 about 120 men, women, and children were killed in cold blood during the Mountain Meadows Massacre. The victims were members of a westward-bound wagon train from Arkansas. The culprits were unprovoked men from a local Mormon militia in Southern Utah. My great (x4) grandfather was apparently one of the key players in what is known in history as one of the worst incidents of domestic terrorism on American soil.

Gotta love history.

For a great video detailing the Mountain Meadows Massacre, click here (12 minutes).

29 Days and Counting

I have really been enjoying spending part of each day reading the Bible and praying with Heidi. We started reading through our One Year Bibles on January 1 along with many people from Palm Valley Church, where I used to work. They started 2008 with a series called Route 66, kicking off a church-wide, one-year journey through the Bible. For Christmas, all staff and staff wives recieved an engraved, leatherbound One Year Bible.

To be honest, I have never been very disciplined at reading my Bible. Ever since high school, I have struggled with disciplining myself and making time to read scripture and pray. So far this year, Heidi and I have faithfully read our Bible each day -- and I'm really enjoying it.

1 month down, 11 to go. God, keep me disciplined.

Creepy

I hurt my back this weekend and Heidi suggested that I visit the chiropractor and see what he can do to relieve my pain. She has always enjoyed going to get adjusted, but I have only been to a chiropractor one time before. I don't go often because, frankly, it freaks me out a bit.

To me, hearing my skeletal system snap, crackle, and pop like a bowl of Rice Krispies is disconcerting. It just seems wrong. I know that thousands of people a day go to chiropractors without incident, but I still have this feeling in the back of my head that my doctor is going to go all Bloodsport on me and accidentally end my life by snapping my neck.

The guy even cracked the cartilage in my ear -- said it would clear up my sinuses.

What an odd field of medicine.

2008

2008 is already shaping up to be a year of exciting change and new possibilities for Heidi and me:

Change #1: At the beginning of January, I will begin working as the Communications Coordinator for Christ's Church of the Valley (CCV) in Peoria, AZ.

The choice to leave my current job at Palm Valley was one that I struggled with for a long time. I love working for PVC, I love the staff, I love the people, and I love the impact that this church has had on me and thousands of others in the west valley. Leaving such a great group of people will not be an easy transition for me or for Heidi.

Life never seems to turn out the way we plan; God brings opportunities in life that we never see coming. God has given me the great gift of allowing me to serve Palm Valley for a year and a half, but He is calling me now down another path. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, but I have learned that God is always faithful when we follow His leading.

Change #2: I blogged previously about the new fertility treatment option that Heidi and I are considering. We met with the doctor this week to get a bit more information, and it looks like it is a good option for us. The doctor told us that if this new treatment doesn't work. that we are essentially out of medical options.

We are definitely going to pray about this decision a bit longer. If we choose to forego this new treatment, then we will most likely be looking in to adoption. While Heidi has already begun to research adoption agencies, we do not plan on starting the process for a while yet. We definitely want to talk to couples who have adopted and pick their brains about what they learned through their experience.

Please keep that situation in your prayers.

Change #3: My last post was about my brother and sister-in-law who recently announced their pregnancy with a due date of July 10. This will be the first Gray family grand baby and I'm sure that will mean a mid-summer trip to Houston followed by another family gathering next holiday season.

I have been an uncle for about 7 years now, but I'm interested to see if it feels any different to be the uncle of a sibling's kid as opposed to the uncle of an in-law's kid. Either way, I am so excited to be an uncle again.

======================

I'm definitely looking forward to these new changes with excited expectancy that God is going to grow Heidi and me, and that He is going to make '08 the most exciting and memorable year of our lives.

God, thank you for your never-ending faithfulness. No matter what comes, we give all the glory and honor to you.

A Big Christmas Gift

My brother Jonathan and his beautiful wife Michelle called us on Christmas Day to give us the news that they are 12 weeks pregnant with their first child! "Baby Gray" as he/she is currently named, is due on July 10, 2008.


Congratulations guys!

(((XM))) Radio

I'm giving very serious thought to canceling my XM Radio subscription.

Last Christmas, Heidi got me this really cool wireless XM Radio -- its like an iPod, but receives satellite radio signals. We also got one for her car because traveling through the deserts of Southern Utah and still having over 100 crystal clear, commercial free radio stations pretty much rocks.

I love that XM has stations that you can't really get with regular radio. My favorite by far has to be Cinemagic - Escape Into the Movies (channel 27). This channel plays scores from movies. All day long. From Lord of the Rings to Pride & Prejudice, from Gladiator to Karate Kid, this channel plays just about everything. I love it.

We also listen to comedy stations, Christian music stations, talk radio, top 40 tunes, music from the 50s, the 90s, and everything in between. Christmastime is especially fun because they offer 5 different stations dedicated to playing uninterrupted Christmas music.

Why then, you may ask, would I want to cancel my subscription? Well, I'm thinking of using the money I would spend on two more one-year subscriptions and using it to pay for a new infertility treatment regimen. I haven't written in a while about the infertility circus that is my life, but the short story is that all the money we poured into the last treatment ended being a complete waste because all it did was make things worse. This new course of therapy is supposed to fix all that. In all honesty, my faith in modern medicine has taken a big hit, so I'm a bit leery of this new treatment.

I'll tell you this -- I would gladly trade my 100+ commercial free radio stations in for just 100 sperm that actually swim in a straight line. That's a selling point I could get on board with.

Contentment

Sometimes it can be hard to be content with the things that life throws your way.

Heidi and I have been struggling with getting pregnant for some time now, and it seems like each time we take a step forward in our attempt to start a family, we get knocked back two steps. Oftentimes, we wonder why God is allowing us to go through this trial. It can become easy for us to look at others who are successfully getting pregnant, and then begin to feel the discontentment with our situation rise up inside and begin to consume us. Feeling contentment in the dark shadow of unrealized expectations can be difficult.

Today God allowed me a six-minute reality check, and suddenly, this burden seems so light.

Graciasgiving

This Thanksgiving, Heidi and I get to visit my mom's side of the family in Farmington, New Mexico (a 7+ hour drive from Phoenix). My grandma and granddad and my aunt and uncle live up here, and this is a good in-the-middle-of-all-the-families meeting spot.

As a kid, my family used to drive here and visit at least twice per year. I haven't been back to Farmington for more than 8 years, and I am really enjoying the nostalgia of this place and of hanging out with family again.

One of the highlights so far is getting to listen to my granddad talk about WWII. He was a B 24 bomber pilot in the South Pacific, and he has some great stories. I'll probably dedicate an entire post to this in the future -- his story makes me swell with patriotic pride.

Whether you are away with extended family, or at home with your loved ones, I would like to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!

What a Faker!

Sometimes the hardest thing about interacting with people is not knowing what is actually going on in the other person's head. People in today's society have made an art form out of putting on a good face and trying to keep up pretenses. Someone can have it all together on the outside and be a complete disaster on the inside. The key is to develop your ability to see through the superficial, and recognize the significant. This requires practice.

I offer you the opportunity to practice today:

I recently came across this test that measures one's ability to read faces. This requires that you focus intently on looking past the skin and staring into the soul. Can you spot the fake smiles? I was able to get 17 out of 20. That means that if you try to fake smile at me, I'll know it 85% of the time.

So don't even try it.

New Venture

Some of you may know this, to others it may come as a surprise: I am currently working on writing my very first book.

Earlier today, I sent one chapter of my book to a literary critiquing company who has promised to give me very detailed feedback on my work. Their website promises their critique will give me more information than I could have ever hoped for or wanted. Yikes.

I'm really hoping that they see some good potential and that they can offer suggestions that would really take my writing to the next level. I would love to keep writing and eventually see something of mine published. Either way, I have committed to Heidi that I will finish it. More on this to come.

Lateral Fest 2007

I do not post about sports often, but this play by the Trinity Tigers is absolutely amazing:

Shameless Plug:

GreatLeaps Preschool is quite possibly the best kept secret in the West Valley.

This past August, my wife and her friend Nicole started a home-based preschool in Goodyear, Arizona. Both Heidi and Nicole left their jobs as public school teachers so that they could turn their attention to educating 3 to 5 year old children, and prepare them to experience future success in school.

If you know someone who has been looking for a safe, loving, and academically excellent learning environment for their preschool-aged child, would you mind spreading the word about GreatLeaps? Starting a preschool is definitely a word-of-mouth business, and any and all exposure is much appreciated.

If you would like to know more about GreatLeaps before telling your friends, please take a few minutes to browse the website, or contact Heidi and Nicole -- they would love to answer any questions you may have.

Thanks!

One Foot in the Grave

I turned 30 today.

Time to begin finalizing my memoirs, make sure my will is up-to-date, and buy some stock in whatever companies manufacture Depends, Polident, Centrum Silver, Preparation H, and Gold Bond Medicated Powder.

Just kidding. In reality, I love each year of my life more than the last. God has blessed me far more than I could ever deserve. My beautiful wife, Heidi, is such an amazing companion -- she makes me laugh, is forever patient with me, and has such a kind heart toward others. I also love being close with my family, my friends and co-workers make my life "interesting", and my job gives me the opportunity to be creative and serve God with my talents.

To all of you who I call friend (and to you too Brent), thank you for being a part of my life. I am honored to know each and every one of you.

Michael

Alternative Medicine

I love how so many of our friends have come alongside Heidi and me as we fight the war against infertility. All your prayers (mixed with 25 horse pills a day, special estrogen-suppression spray twice a day, and extra-potent testosterone cream each morning) have definitely been helpful.

Well, today we had a new weapon added to our arsenal. Pete Espinosa, one of the rockin' electric guitarists at Palm Valley Church, has personally loaned me what he considers a sure-fire cure: his old workout socks.


For those of you who may not have noticed, the writing on the bottom reads "survival of the fittest", and that is indeed a sperm on my ankle. I may be pressing my luck with 2 of my last 3 posts containing pictures of sperm. Sorry Jeanette :)

According to Pete, these beauties are not merely fashionable fitness footwear, but also lucky baby-making socks. These breathable cotton/poly blends are what Pete wore while training for a marathon during the same time of year that he and his wife were trying for kids (please take special note of the italics).

Since they have worked like a charm for him twice already, he generously decided to share the wealth with me. I'm hoping that the magic is simply in the socks and not in the marathon training -- if that be the case, I'm only going to be known to children as "Uncle Michael" for the rest of my life.

For you skeptics out there, you must know this: I put these socks on as soon as I got home from church, and then watched the Arizona Cardinals turn a 7 to nothing 1st quarter defeat into an incredible 21 to 14 win against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Coincidence you say?

I think not.

This is Messed Up

I just read an article about the guy who has prepared our taxes for the last four years. He is being indicted on 136 counts of tax fraud and forgery. Heidi and I knew something was up when our usual $2,000 tax return took a huge swing to become a $5,000 tax liability this past year.

Now it looks like the government might be auditing our tax returns for at least three years back (I think that is the statute of limitations on taxes). Just what we need.

What bothers me the most is that Heidi and I don't know a great deal about the insanely complex tax system, and we trusted this guy to prepare them for us. We never wanted to short-change the government, we just wanted to pay our taxes like other honest, hard-working Americans. Now we are going to have to take the hit to fix a situation that we didn't cause.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hate dealing with taxes!

Becoming A Man...Finally

I am less than a month away from my 30th birthday, and manhood is knocking on my door.

Most of you that know me well, know that Heidi and I have been unable to conceive a child due to major problems with my sperm. We have been undergoing fertility treatment for almost a year now. During a doctor's visit in early July, I learned that the problems with my sperm were rooted in the fact that my testosterone level was at a dismal 118 (normal levels are between 800 and 1,200).

Since then, I have rubbed testosterone cream on my leg each morning in hopes that I could induce a reversal in my levels. The minor side effects of this treatment make for some funny stories, most of which I will save for another time. One side effect is increased irritability -- which I generally don't recognize on my own. My wife, in her ever-so-tender and loving way, gently informs me about my aggression by saying something like, "Hey, take it easy now Testy Testosterone!" That's what she calls me. Testy Testosterone.

Well, I got the results of my latest blood work today and it looks like Testy Testosterone may be a name that sticks. My testosterone level is now at 785. I'm knocking on the door baby! I am excited that this treatment is helping and that God seems to be answering our many prayers. For those of you who already do, please keep praying that this trend continues.

Unmitigated Agony

I just encountered one of my biggest pet peeves in life -- I got a bowl and a spoon out of the cabinet, poured a nice bowl of Golden Grahams, and opened up the refrigerator to find that we were OUT OF MILK!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr....

What is one of your biggest pet peeves?

Its Traintastic!

Photography is something I have loved for a long time, but I don't spend a lot of time doing it. During a recent church video shoot in Riverside, Arizona, I snapped some photos for Ryan Nunez's son Eric. He is totally into everything involving trains (and even coins words like "traintastic" to express his train affection).

I was using the church's Cannon EOS Rebel XT camera (which I love as much as Eric likes trains). These photos are not likely to win any awards, but I thought they were cool. We'll know for sure if photographer extraordinaire Kim Logan leaves positive feedback. She rocks at photography.

Here are my photos:

"132 & Bush, I've Got Him at Gunpoint"

Just returned home tonight to seven squad cars and nine of Avondale's finest breaking up a big disturbance next door (involving at least ten people).

I have heard that the house next to us was turned into Section-8 housing last year. If that is true, I'd like to give a great big sarcastic thanks-a-lot to our state government for helping to turn a perfectly peaceful neighborhood into an episode of COPS.

The Mormons

Heidi and I just finished watching a fascinating four-hour documentary on PBS called The Mormons.

Growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah, I have had a great deal of contact with Mormons, and Mormonism is a religion that I know well. Just about every kid in the neighborhood or at school was Mormon. In fifth grade, social studies is dedicated to teaching about Utah's history -- which is essentially the story of the Mormon exodus from Illinois. My family has visited Temple Square many times, and we have taken the visitor tours which tell all about Joseph Smith and the revelation that gave birth to Mormonism.

Writing on the topic of Mormonism could take me in about 100 different directions. The Mormon story is definitely intriguing. It includes acts of terrorism, God-ordained adultery, separatist anti-Americanism, mass murder, death oaths, and black magic. On the other hand, the Mormon story also includes elements of strong family values, close-knit communities, worldwide evangelism, and fervent pro-Americanism. Its an interesting dichotomy.

One quote from the documentary sums up this fascinating religion's history by asking, "How do you go from being the ultimate outcast, to the embodiment of the mainstream in two generations? Its a breath-taking transformation."

It is indeed an amazing story.

Advantage: Gray

I love playing tennis. Earlier this evening, Heidi and I played a few sets at Avondale Friendship Park. We haven't played tennis together in years, and it was great spending the day with her and doing something different.

I have to tell you, Heidi did a great job and kept me running the court all night. She has this strange ability to hit the back line, then return my volley by barely clearing the net on a short lob. I know I'm not in the best shape of my life, but I'm not even sure that Agassi could have run baseline-to-net as often as I did tonight.

Here is a live-action shot of one of her signature returns:



Perhaps I should have focused more on returning the ball than on getting pictures.

Breakfast Rocks!

In an effort to lighten the mood left over from my last blog and the crummy things going on in my life, I'd like to offer up this Zigvid in honor of something in life that still makes me happy: pancakes.

I must warn you, if you choose to view this video, I cannot be held responsible for the pancake theme song getting stuck irrevocably in your head. If you love pancakes as much as I do, there is an even higher chance of song stickage.

You have been warned.

Personal Barometer

I cannot begin to express how disappointing it is for me that I have not blogged in a long time. This site is a source of a great deal of joy and relaxation for me, and I have missed it greatly. I would go as far as to say that my frequency of blogging and blog reading is in direct correlation to my energy level and/or my attitude toward life. It's like a personal barometer for me.

Over the past few months, I have been struggling with a number of health-related, personal, and professional issues in my life. None of my issues are particularly serious or life-threatening, they are just pestering. I am not deeply depressed or anything, but I am definitely going through a dark time. I wish that I could pinpoint what it is that has me down, but I can't -- and that frustrates me more. I guess that there are just times of random discontent in each person's life, and this is one of mine.

I have never been the sort of person to hide what is happening in my life; I am truly an open book. Please know that I don't write these things to somehow gain sympathy or to cause anyone to go out of their way to make me feel better. Honestly, I'm not even sure kind words will help. I only write these things because writing them down is a way for me to get rid of the baggage that is keeping me down -- and I think its good to share things publicly rather than keeping them to myself.

If you have a minute, I would appreciate a quick prayer on my behalf. I'm generally not selfish about asking for things, but I believe that prayers will help.

Thanks.

Wholesome Fun for the Entire Family

Please refrain from excessive talking, turn all cell phones to silent, and promptly remove crying babies or irratable children so that others are free to enjoy this blog in peace. Thank you for your cooperation.

~The Management

Misundercommunicationism

Communicating clear messages in creative ways can be frustrating. Sometimes, no matter how good the delivery of your message is, the meaning gets lost in the artistry.

Open-Source Leadership

Like many others, I struggle on a daily basis with trying to develop my skills as a strong leader.

I know in my heart that I have the potential to be a leader, but proving that to myself and others oftentimes becomes difficult. I tend to get bogged-down in the everyday routines and focus more on the short-term than the long-term. Instead of being a visionary leader, I focus on what I need to do to get through the day. Call it my survival instinct.

One thing that I find helpful is learning from other leaders. I am fine with reading books on leadership, but I am a very hands-on learner -- for me to learn and grow most effectively, I need to interact with leaders, not just read about them.

Last Thursday, I had the privilege of having lunch with Jon Edmiston, the Director of Information Technology & Communications for Christ's Church of the Valley in Peoria, AZ. CCV is an awesome church; they are reaching thousands of people all over Phoenix for Christ. When it comes to leadership, this church has a great deal to offer.

The most important lesson I learned from our meeting was that I appreciated Jon's willingness to spend part of his day pouring into an aspiring leader from another local church. I'm sure Jon had 100 different reasons why having lunch with me would be too much of an interference in his week, but he still chose to take the time to share his knowledge -- that is true leadership, and I appreciate it. A lot of other leaders might not have given me the time of day.

As I continue to develop into a strong leader, I hope to always remember that I did not get there on my own. I know that I will tap into hundreds of different leaders in my journey to becoming an effective leader. As I grow, I want pour my knowledge into others with the same willingness that Jon had in pouring into me last week.

Speaking of Guitar Hero...

Just came across this photo of me and Palm Valley's own worship leader Derrick Logan at a recent praise team rehearsal:

Hangin' with Brent & Jess

I am writing my first-ever blog from the computer at Brent and Jessica Hodges' house. We just got through with hometeam and Heidi and I decided to stay around for a while.

Brent and I just finished melting some faces on Guitar Hero II and now the girls are downstairs rockin' out to "Sweet Cherry Pie." I think it is hilarious to watch the girls play because they are both REALLY good. Nothing makes me more in love with Heidi than when I see her playing lead on "Symphony of Destruction".

Rock on Bay, rock on.

Sworn Enemy of the Galactic Alliance

My mission was to find and eliminate all minions of the evil Emperor Zurg.

It wasn't until the end of the mission that I realized my wingman, Nathaniel, was a covert agent -- actively working to destroy the Alliance. This photo shows the exact moment of my realization:



Unfortunately, before I could fire a shot, the undercover alien/robot/mouse/pirate cracked me over the head with a concealed churro that he acquired before the mission. The head wound was minor, but cinnamon and sugar in the eyes hurts something fierce.

I gave chase, but the churro dust severely impaired my vision. I lost the enemy as he boarded a Star Tours spacecraft bound for the moon of Endor.

You have won this battle, Nathaniel, but I have direct orders from Buzz Lightyear himself to find you and force you into a lifetime of imprisonment in "its a small world".

You better hope I never catch you.

Lifetime Warranty?

My good friends Tommie and Kyle Dyer recently returned from their wedding on May 5, 2007. As the above picture illustrates, Kyle clearly married for looks and Tommie married for ... um ... personality. :)

Actually, this marriage is uniquely special for me because these two were the first couple for whom I did premarital counselling. I had an awesome time walking with Tommie and Kyle as they dreamed of and prepared for their lives together. I especially enjoyed watching their excitement because it reminded me of when Heidi and I got married. That is a day I could live over and over again.

With this being my first premarital counseling, I am tempted to put a limited warranty on my work. I only say that jokingly, though, because I know that this marriage is not founded on anything that I ever said or did, but on Christ and His grace and love -- and with Christ at the center, you can be sure that this marriage comes with a lifetime warranty.

Tommie & Kyle, it was truly an honor for me to be a part of your wedding. Thank you for that gift.

Congratulations and best wishes!

Short Blogs Rule!

Sometimes I set out to write thoughts that are simple and to-the-point, but tend to end up with a long post because I continually think of more to say.

That's all I wanted to tell you.

The Week in Review

This past week has certainly been eventful. While the week itself has not been particularly busy or stressful for me, I have had the chance to experience some incredible things:

Thing 1:
Yesterday morning, our great friends Brent & Jessica Hodges had their first child. Mason Hodges came into the world at 8 pounds, 6 ounces and 21 3/4 inches long. Heidi and I went to visit them in the hospital to hold the little guy and congratulate Brent and Jess. We could not be happier for the two (three) of them; I know that they are going to make great parents. We love you guys!

Thing 2:
This past Sunday marked the pinnacle of the Seize the Moment capital campaign at our church. What I found amazing through this campaign is seeing the faithfulness of both God and the members of Palm Valley. Our Leadership Commitment Event a few weeks ago was a testament to the faithfulness of the church leaders, and Sunday was a testament to God's faithfulness.

As most of you probably know, Pastor Greg, was in bad shape on Sunday. You can read about the details on his blog, but I was encouraged to see so many people pray for him and then to see God to give Greg the perfect amount of grace/energy/ability to communicate what he needed to communicate. Obviously, God wasn't going to let anything hinder the message that Palm Valley needed to hear. Sometimes, having Satan attack is a cool thing because it gives God the chance to show up big. I think He did just that.

Thing 3:
Last Friday night and most of the day Saturday, Heidi and I got to watch Noah Rudd, the son of our other great friends Justin & Bethany. Most of you know that we have wanted kids for some time now and this past weekend was a great, albeit short, test-run for us. In an effort to clearly show us just what we are asking God for, Noah started his day at 5:30 a.m. Other than the fact that he is a morning person, he is a great kid.

We loved having the chance to see a glimpse of what life will be like with a child. I got to get him out of his crib in the morning, we both got to play with him, we got to take him to Lowe's to shop for gardening equipment, I even changed my first poopy diaper (definitely one of the less appealing events in child-rearing). Still, it makes me look forward to the day when Heidi and I are finally blessed with a child of our own. I hope that our kid can be as fun, cooperative, and cute as Noah.

Thing 4:
On Sunday, we also met and held Connor Bewley, the newly adopted son of Troy & Alison. It was fun for us to see a great couple so proud of the child they have prayed so long and hard for, but it was also good for our hearts to see that God is faithful even if it is not on our timeline.

We waited a long time to meet you Connor, and we're glad you're here.

One Week Down, Thousands to Go

The first few weeks are the hardest -- that I know from experience.

I have started countless New Years resolutions and/or personal betterment plans in my life, and I have learned that determination tends to have a shelf-life. Mine is usually between two and three weeks. I'm on week two now.

Week one of the MG2 Project went pretty well. Since I have so many goals in this project, I planned on implementing them progressively over time so as not to bury myself early. Week one was primarily devoted to focusing on bettering my spiritual life through regular devotional times and prayer. I am happy to report that I accomplished my goal of setting aside the time I need each day before work to begin my mornings with God. It is definitely a refreshing change of pace to begin each day praying to and praising Him.

To help get me jump-started, I bought two devotional books -- one for home and one for work -- that I plan to read through every day. Eventually, I hope to dive deeper in my study of the Bible, but these two books are great starting points for me:



If you remember, please say a prayer for me to stay consistent with my devotional times. If I accomplish nothing else with this project, I want to deepen my faith in Christ and communicate with Him more regularly so that I can become the husband, friend, and (one day) father that God would have me to be.

Coming up in the next update:
P90X - Show me your "bring it" face...

Who is This Guy?

Check it out! I got Greg R to participate in my blog!

Woo-hoo!

The Appointed Time Has Come

I am not what I should be.

On Sunday, October 11, 2007 I will turn 30 years old. The thought of leaving my 20s behind and still having so many shortcomings in my life makes me a bit depressed. I would have thought that, by this time in my life, I would have been more -- more organized, more physically fit, more spiritually strong, a better communicator, more confident, more of a leader -- more of about a hundred different things that I am not, but should be.

This MG2 Project is intended to be a catalyst in improving myself -- sort of like a New Year's resolution that begins in May. I have five months until I turn 30, and I want who I am now and who I will be on that day to be different. I want to see an improved version of me in these three areas:

SOUL ~ Spiritual Discipline I have never been consistent at doing devotions or praying. I believe in them wholeheartedly, but haven't done a good job at developing spiritual discipline in my own daily life. On some level, being around church all my life has made me somewhat immune to the excitement that others get when they read the Bible, or pray to a loving God. These things have been my life from infancy -- and Satan has exploited that familiarity to his advantage by making me almost ambivalent in these areas.

BODY ~ Physical Discipline I'm not merely out of shape, I'm in poor shape. I always find excuses for not working out or for not eating right, and those excuses have only led to me being what I am now. In addition to the typical list of symptoms I get to deal with from being in poor shape, I believe that my current inability to produce children is directly related to my physical health. That both saddens me and enrages me. Things need to change.

MIND ~ Mental Discipline This may be the hardest thing for me to change because I feel like my brain simply does not work the way I need it to in order to be a great leader. I am a very slow information, idea, and thought processor. This makes my ability to work quickly and communicate clearly (especially verbally) a very difficult thing. I communicate well in writing because I am able to think about what I want to write, write it, and then go back and refine my message before anyone ever reads it. I cannot do that with everyday personal interactions and it frustrates me to no end.

The same goes with my work. I have a very difficult time producing quality work under a crunch or with little information or guidance. I rely a bit to much on time buffers. I need to learn how to retrain my mind to be sharper, more visionary, and prepared to produce immediate and high quality results when I'm called upon to do so.

Well, that was an overview of the MG2 Project. You may wonder why I put something like this on my blog. Two reasons - accountability and encouragement. If I make this public, I am more likely to stick with it because I know that other people are hip to what I am trying to accomplish (and what I am trying to avoid). When they see me eating at Barro's, they'll be able to remind me that I have fitness goals that I am sacrificing for two [great] slices of pizza. Also, I hope that people will encourage me along the way to keep at it (especially in relation to my spiritual discipline).

The MG2 Project begins today.

Beginning May 01, 2007

The Road to Nowhere

Well, Heidi and I are back from our get-away-from-it-all trip to Greer, AZ. We had a great time relaxing, eating out, relaxing, watching movies, relaxing, horseback riding, and relaxing.

We stayed at an awesome bed & breakfast called The Red Setter Inn. Here are some photos of the place we stayed. If you ever need to spend some time in the middle of nowhere, this is the place to be.


The Red Setter Lodge


The view from right outside the door to our private deck.


Heidi relaxing on the rocking chair.


The Little Colorado River - just steps from our room.

A Vacation from My Problems!

Heidi and I are going away for a long weekend together.

We are headed to the small town of Greer in the White Mountains in northeastern Arizona. We have never been there, but by all accounts it is a very remote and beautiful area. One of the key amenities at the place where staying is that our room has no phone and no television. Talk about getting away from it all! We can't wait.

We plan on doing a lot of sleeping in, reading, and coffee-drinking. We may even throw in some hiking and/or horseback riding. I'm sure I'll do a little bit of blogging while I'm up there because writing is a creative and relaxing outlet for me. Hopefully I'll get some good pictures to post.

Disclaimer: The title of this post is not intended to be a gripe about my job or my life in general. Its actually a line from one of my favorite movies, "What About Bob".

Here are a few more of my favorite lines:

"Mmmmm Faye? Is this corn hand-shucked?"

"Check it out, I'm in really bad shape. I'm doing the work. I'm baby-steppin. I'm not a slacker!"

"There are really only three names: Dr. Albert Schwitzer, Mother Theresa of Calcutta, probably, and Leo Marvin."

"I get it! If I don't untie myself inside -- the emotional knots, I'm going to explode!"

Not sure why I went off on a "What About Bob" tangent there. Sorry about that. Well, we're off to Lake Winnipesaukee. We'll send you a postcard.

Hierarchy of Sins

"You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart."

Matthew 5:27 & 28

Is all sin equally bad in God's eyes?

I know that God cannot abide sin no matter how small, but is it reasonable to think that he looks at all sin in the same light? Many people read the verse above and would say that he would see them as equal.

Personally, I have a hard time believing that God would not distinguish between levels of sin. Again, I understand that all sin separates us from God, but is it reasonable to think that God looks at the sin of a child molester as equal to that of someone who deals with selfish pride? Does God's heart grieve equally when he sees a brutal murder and a guy cheating on his taxes?

I think the verse above is not intended to insinuate that physical adultery and lust are one and the same. I believe that Jesus is simply trying to get us to think about the origins of sin's footholds. We don't commit sins by random chance. Sin first plants its roots in our hearts and then grows itself into full-blown active sin.

A person isn't dedicated to a church one day and then cursing the pastor and leaving in a huff the next -- bitterness has to steep in that heart for a while before the sin takes action. A man doesn't just have an affair all of a sudden -- he allows his mind to wander in forbidden fantasies for a while before the sin takes action. It seems to me that all sin is committed only after first being committed in the heart.

Perhaps Jesus was merely trying to give us insight into the origin of our sins rather than to say that both are 100% equal in God's eyes. If we are able to stifle the "sins of the heart" before they become "sins of the flesh", I think that we are making steps toward the holiness that Christ calls us to.

More thoughts on this topic to come...