Thursday, April 09, 2009

Don't Judge the Objectum Sexuals

When exactly did the mainstream television news outlets lose their minds?

As I think back on my childhood, I very vividly remember school days that began with a generous bowl of Lucky Charms and the calming sounds of Joan Lunden and Charlie Gibson on Good Morning America echoing through the house. Breakfast would vary on occasion -- some days we'd eat bacon and eggs and on other days my mom made waffles -- but the television was always tuned to Good Morning America. It was the American way.

Now I get the sickening feeling that the very show I watched every day as a kid has become nothing more than an pseudo-intellectualized version of the Jerry Springer Show. Take a moment to see what passes as relevant news on GMA now:



I'm just counting down the days until some college professor or coked-up movie star calls me a bigot when I say that I don't believe that an adult woman has the right to marry an inanimate French landmark.

What do you think:

Did Good Morning America legitimize this "new sexual orientation" by airing this piece? If not, then what was the point?

What are your thoughts on the sexologist saying that an objectum sexual's love is "no more and no less of value than other romantic relationships"? Who are we to judge, right?

9 comments:

TestForMe said...

Wow... I truly feel sorry for these people...

On a brighter note... I see a good use of stimulus money to further research this topic (no pun intended).

Jared said...

So, when this woman gets sick and is in the hospital, does the Eiffel Tower get visiting rights? Can she and the Eiffel Tower legally adopt a child? Does any state/country recognize the "object-union" she had with the Eiffel Tower? How does the Eiffel Tower feel about her other loves such as the SF Bay Bridge and the F-14?

Brad said...

Crazy people in this world. I am glad the Air Force kicked her out..Sicko..

Anonymous said...

I think I saw her cheating on the Eiffel Tower with a bridge in that piece...ohhhh, I wouldn't want to be in Paris when that argument goes down! And to do it on national television, that's just cold!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious comments!! I'm sorry, but I will be totally un-PC to say, that woman is retarded and the people who think that is news worthy are freakin' idiots! Your ever loving and sweet Aunt Jana

Anonymous said...

What if I claim that the Eiffel Tower objects to this woman's affections, and she continues to stalk and physically molest the Tower? Could this be considered assault? She should be arrested! Poor Tower.

Fernando Orona said...

I don't believe in same sex marriages so as long as the tower is male...it's all good.

newlyyoung said...

You know, I have noticed the Washington Monument eyeing me suggestively. At first I thought I was imagining something, but I'm pretty sure it whistled a catcall when I walked by. Personally, I'm tired of being harassed by these structures that think they can degrade me like that. Next time this happens, Jared is going to defend my honor by challenging it to a duel. I am a person and I deserve respect from all objects, even national memorials.

Orona03 said...

Thanks GMA! I've been looking for a home-based business and now that I've seen this piece and have been awakened to the growing numbers of Objectum-sexuals, I'm starting the first online dating service for these neglected people. Anyone interested in dating a telephone pole or a 1982 Buick Skylark? Let me know! Michael, maybe you can help me out with some graphics and web design...