Excused Absence

To Whom it May Concern,

Please excuse Michael Gray from blogging for a short time. Like the rest of us, he is pouring himself into his work and is tapping himself of as much creativity and energy as he can for the time being. While he yearns to write another post, he yearns even more for sleep. We hope to have him back in the blogosphere sometime after Easter.

Sincerely,

The Management

Focussed Prayer

Many times have I said a prayer that included the phrase, "...God, I pray for your will do be done in this situation...". I think we get this phrase from reading Jesus' prayer in the Garden of Gethsemane on the night he was captured to be crucified. You know the phrase -- "Yet, not as I will, but as you will."

That phrase is very important in prayer, but I don't think it was intended to stand on its own. Jesus first prayed that God would completely remove the need for him to be crucified. He was specific in his request. He made it clear that he did not want to go to the cross. Only after doing that did he commit to following God's will, regardless of the outcome.

In my prayers, I tend to make suggestions to God rather than straight-up asking him to intervene in my life. I like to start everything thing with, "If its your will...". When you stop to think about it, it seems so impersonal -- like I'm asking a stranger for a favor. If God is our Father, we should approach him like a child would his father.

I am learning that I need to be more bold, more specific for what I pray for. I need to go in believing that God will hear my prayers and that he will answer them. I think that always praying "whatever your will" has been a cop-out for me so that I can avoid being direct.

So my prayer for right now is this:

"God, you know that Heidi and I have been trying to have a baby for the past two years. You have given us the desire to raise children and you have let that fire burn in our hearts for some time now. God, we ask specifically that you bless us with conceiving a child this month. We have always prayed that you would send us a child in your time and we are asking that the month of March be your time. Yet, not as we will, but as you will."

Your added prayers for this situation would be greatly appreciated.

AnGRRRR...

I would say that I'm not an angry guy.

Anger is not one of my vices -- I'm generally easy-going and moderately patient with people. I don't curse at swervy drivers, or call people mean names, or get into (too many) street fights. I'm what you might call an even-tempered guy.

Except on the basketball court. I can get so angry when I play basketball.

I don't get angry when Gumm doesn't feed me the ball in the post, or when Derrick keeps air-balling his 3s, or when Darius intentionally chooses not to be on my team. I get angry only at myself.

When I make stupid mistakes on the court, I become so frustrated. Today I air-balled an easy jump shot, followed my shot, and punched the ball clear up to the rafters (catching your own air-ball is called travelling, so that's why I didn't try to save it). Sometimes I will swoop in for a layup, brick it off the backboard, and then yell out, "COME ON GRAY, YOU STINK!" And I'm really mad at myself.

Now, if I am going up for a tough shot and I miss, I have no problem with that. If someone shot-fakes me and dribbles around, I tell them, "good job". Its the stupid mistakes that get me so fired up. Its not that I'm terribly competitive because truly competitive people compete in everything ("Dude, I bet I can eat a two-scoop ice cream cone faster than you") and I get annoyed at that sort of person.

So I'm going to lay down on the blogger psychoanalyst couch and let you shrink me. If I only get angry with myself for doing stupid things, does that make me an angry person? Do I have a problem? I'm paying by the hour, so be honest.

I Don't Get it...

Most of my blogs deal with the lighter side of life because I enjoy writing about things that are fun. On occasion, however, I will blog about something more serious -- which is the case with today's post. I'm going to forgo the typical "I don't speak for my church, my friends, my family, or my loud neighbor next door" routine because I think that anyone with half a brain understands that this blog is mine and that I am speaking only for myself. If you have half a brain or less, please stop reading now.

I have a very hard time understanding certain aspects of the gay community. While I do have personal convictions on homosexuality, this post is not being written from any spiritual, scriptural, or otherwise religious basis; this is just me trying to understand what an average gay person thinks/feels/wants when in a relationship -- and I'm stumped about one thing in particular:

Why would a gay woman be attracted to a masculine woman, and why would a gay man be attracted to a feminine man? The whole concept of being gay is that you are not attracted to the opposite sex, is it not? Why, then, is it common to see gay couples paired in such opposite-sex ways?*** Is the lack of attraction specific only to the anatomy of the opposite sex?

When I say that I am attracted to my wife, I am not only speaking of her body [further commentary on my wife's body withheld], but also about her nature as a woman. I am terribly attracted to her feminine qualities because those characteristics are so...female. I can only assume that the same holds true in my wife's attraction for me (in fact, I can tell you for certain that she isn't hanging around just so that she can "get with this") . She is attracted to the non-physical qualities that make me a man. Pure attraction, by nature, requires both a physical and emotional connection doesn't it?

To boil my confusion down to one statement, I would say that I find it hard to understand how gay people can have a physical attraction to the "bodily qualities" of the same sex, but an emotional attraction to the "nature qualities" of the opposite sex. This is something that I have been unable to understand for quite some time now.

Comments to this post are appreciated as long as they are respectful.

***Many people might say that I am being stereotypical or generalizing gays with this statement. To that I answer: you are 100% correct. The fact that I am generalizing only indicates that I am able to make statements based on what is commonly observed, and it doesn't mean that I am saying that all gay couples are this way. I do, however, believe that it is a valid statement about the majority of gay couples.

What Dreams May Come...

Dreams are very interesting occurrences aren't they? While your body is prostrate in restful slumber, your mind is throwing a neighborhood block party. Its almost as if the brain gets bored with rest before the body does. Like a child without adult supervision, the mind gets into all the cupboards of the brain and makes a mess. Dreams are ADHD of the mind.

The thing I like best about dreams is the fact that there are no rules governing the dream world. Things that are impossible or ridiculous in real life are completely run-of-the-mill in dreams. If, in real life, I saw a pink moose singing Sinatra songs in the toilet paper aisle at Safeway, I would go immediately to the psychiatrist and get some help. But in dreams, there is always a perfectly reasonable answer for that moose being there, and an equally valid reason why a moose would be singing Sinatra rather than Marvin Gaye. I love that.

In dreams, it is perfectly normal to wear clown shoes to your ex-girlfriend's wedding. In fact, the mother of the bride would undoubtedly compliment you on your style and then lament the fact that her daughter ever let you slip out of her hands.

Here are some of my most vivid weird-but-not-weird dreams:

A family of large, flying Weebles cheering me on as I complete a Noah's Ark jigsaw puzzle at my dinner table in Portales, New Mexico. The only problem was that they only clapped when I put the wrong piece in the wrong place. Weebles are jerks.

My favorite Humpty Dumpty stuffed toy taking me by one arm and one leg, spinning me around wildly, and throwing me through the glass window in my bedroom. He was paying me back for not being more gentle with him, I guess.

Me riding on the back of a flying, fire-breathing dragon and turning to lock lips with the princess hanging on behind me. She was your stereotypical princess - pink gown, tall, pointy pink hat, blonde hair. Beautiful.

Stopping by someone's house and playing with their litter of Cockercats -- half house cat, half Cocker Spaniel -- and thinking that they were, by far, the cutest pets alive.

Those are a few of the ones I remember off the top of my head.

Ok, homework time.

Since you read this blog, I want you to add to it by posting one of your most vivid dreams that had unusual elements that weren't unusual in the actual dream. Everyone loves a good dream. Let's hear yours...