Toasted

Public speaking is not easy.

The fear of speaking in front of a group is one of the top fears in American society. Beyond simply overcoming the realization that all eyes and ears in the room are fixed on him or her (a realization that intensifies self-consciousness), a good public speaker must be interactive and engaging in order to be effective in delivering a message. Having to communicate under these circumstances can be daunting for anyone.

While I am generally comfortable around large groups of people, I am incredibly unconfident speaking in front of them. I don't mind the publicness of speaking, I mind the fact that I am oftentimes unable to communicate the message I want at the quality I want to deliver it.

In order to learn to overcome this life-long struggle, I went today to my first-ever Toastmasters International meeting. The goal of Toastmasters is to help you "become the speaker and leader you want to be," and these people aren't playing around.

Without going into too much detail about the meetings, the goal is to make attendees comfortable with public speaking by making them speak publicly. Then the rest of the group goes about dissecting the speech's content and delivery. Ultimately, the speaker gets almost immediate feedback on the shortcomings of his or her speaking ability. It can be nerve-wracking to have people pick you apart like that, but as long as you don't take things personally and you use the critiques to better yourself for the next speech, this group really seems to help.

Even though I was a first-time guest, the group gave me the opportunity to participate in what they call table topics. During this part of the meeting, members are all given a word of the day (ours today was goad). One person is then picked to stand up at the podium. On the spot, they are given a random topic to talk about for two to three minutes and they have to find a way to incorporate the word of the day appropriately in their presentation.

I was asked to talk about my first car, and I had to find a good place to use the verb goad. I started off fairly well and was enjoying myself until I said "ummmm" for the first time. Allow me to let you in on a little Toastmasters secret: they have a person at each meeting whose only task is to listen for "filler sounds" and then hit a desk bell each time the forbidden sounds are used.

The sound of that ringing in the middle of my speech was unnerving. In three minutes, I got dinged seven times. I could tell that the poor lady ringing the bell felt bad at having to keep picking on the new guy, but she was just doing her job. I was so frazzled at the bell that I kept losing my train of thought and I even forgot to use the word of the day. They were kind enough to let me know that everyone gets dinged a lot on their first try, and that I was nowhere near the group record of 17 dings.

Either way, I have a long way to go, and I'm sure I'll have more stories to come.

Pray for me.

Happy Easter!

I hope your Easter celebrations are a blast. Enjoy the time with family, the time to rest, and most importantly, the time you spend celebrating the fact that Jesus Christ rose from the dead in order to make it possible for us to spend eternity with him.

He is risen indeed!

I'm Not the Only One

This blog is subtitled "Uncensored, but Spell-checked" for a very good reason: I am very conscious of spelling mistakes. Certain events from my past have made me this way.

I remember in first grade making a poster-sized drawing of the Statue of Liberty (complete with picture-taking stick figure tourists) for the annual school-wide art show called Reflections. On the base of my rendition of the historic American landmark, I used a permanent marker and skillfully etched the words "Stachew of Liberty". When I showed my parents, my dad mentioned that I spelled "statue" incorrectly (for a first grader, I think I displayed great phonemic awareness with stachew). Despite my excellent sound-it-out skills, I was embarrassed to have the now unchangeable misspelling on my artwork, so I ended up cutting off the lower half of my drawing and submitted my rendition of the historic landmark from the knees up.

That's the first time I really became aware that spelling mistakes can be embarrassing, but it didn't make me permanently immune to the occasional misspelling. In fact, after graduating from college, I had a particularly funny Freudian-slip spelling error on the resume that I sent to various PR firms here in Phoenix. Rather than tell you the whole story, let me show you a picture I found recently that more than adequately explains the embarrassment I felt with my post-graduation spelling mistake:



Who knew that you could earn $145K - $204K per year with a BA in Pubic Relations? Talk about getting paid well for something that you love to do. If the VP makes that much, I wonder what the President makes...

Baby-Making 101 (Part 3 of 3)

Part 3. Please read Part 1 & Part 2 before reading this section.

If by any chance you are dealing with issues of infertility, this concluding part is sincerely dedicated to you and your spouse as you walk this road together. While I am really enjoying the chance to tell the humorous (and sometimes explicit) parts of our story, my ultimate goal is to provide encouragement to anyone going through the same feelings of disappointment, discouragement, heartache, and uncertainty that we have grown to know so well.

Special congratulations go out to Eddie & Jeanne James, who just yesterday (March 1), had their prayers answered with the birth of their daughter Nadia. We love you guys!

And....go:

After the “Beaches of Normandy” speech, he asked us questions about the things we were doing to get pregnant, and we explained which methods we tried (at least the ones we were comfortable admitting to trying). After hearing about all of our efforts, he gave us a piece of advice that is far more powerful than anything we got from any other source.

He said, “You know, so many people I see are so concerned with getting pregnant that they consume their lives with finding the magic bullet. Instead of focusing on each other, they try different methods and buy books and devices that claim to hold the secret. I always tell people that they are better off taking the money they would spend on ovulation kits, and spend every dime of it at Victoria’s Secret. Just focus on arousing each other and enjoying the intimacy, and pregnancy will come in time.”

Now, I would be lying if I said that the male side of me didn’t jump for joy at the idea of a Victoria’s Secret shopping spree, but the thing I appreciated most was that he refocused us what was most important in a marriage -- intimacy. Cultivating a strong bond with your spouse is more important to a healthy marriage than getting pregnant, and we realized that we had begun to seek pregnancy at the expense of remembering to enjoy each other sexually. We made a commitment that day to remember that sex is more than a means for producing children; it also provides a special connection that runs deeper than any other bond that any two people could have.

At the end of our appointment, Heidi’s doctor asked if he could pray for us. He knew from another conversation that we were both Christians, and we gladly accepted his offer. You don’t have to be religious to know that having another person pray for you can be a very moving experience.

I can’t recall his exact words, but I remember him praying for God to prepare us for and bless us with a child. At the end of his prayer, he looked up with tears in his eyes and thanked us for helping him remember why he does what he does day after day. What an amazing experience to go into an infertility appointment with nervous insecurity, and leave with peace in our hearts and a fresh perspective on God’s provision for our lives.

I know that some of you reading this may not have the experience of having someone pray for you to have peace in this time of uncertainty, so please allow me to offer up a prayer on your behalf. My hope is that this prayer can be as meaningful to you now as Heidi’s doctor’s prayer was to us that day in his office:

God, you know the pain and the uncertainty happening in this person’s life now. I pray that you send your peace to them now and that you keep their eyes on the fact that You have a plan for their life, and for the life of any child You choose to bless them with. Bring them encouragement through people in their lives, and help them to be an encouragement to others they know who may be struggling with difficulties in getting pregnant. God, more than anything, let them know that you love them. I pray this in the name of Jesus, who showed us love that is greater than any we could ever find. Amen.