2008

2008 is already shaping up to be a year of exciting change and new possibilities for Heidi and me:

Change #1: At the beginning of January, I will begin working as the Communications Coordinator for Christ's Church of the Valley (CCV) in Peoria, AZ.

The choice to leave my current job at Palm Valley was one that I struggled with for a long time. I love working for PVC, I love the staff, I love the people, and I love the impact that this church has had on me and thousands of others in the west valley. Leaving such a great group of people will not be an easy transition for me or for Heidi.

Life never seems to turn out the way we plan; God brings opportunities in life that we never see coming. God has given me the great gift of allowing me to serve Palm Valley for a year and a half, but He is calling me now down another path. I'm nervous and excited at the same time, but I have learned that God is always faithful when we follow His leading.

Change #2: I blogged previously about the new fertility treatment option that Heidi and I are considering. We met with the doctor this week to get a bit more information, and it looks like it is a good option for us. The doctor told us that if this new treatment doesn't work. that we are essentially out of medical options.

We are definitely going to pray about this decision a bit longer. If we choose to forego this new treatment, then we will most likely be looking in to adoption. While Heidi has already begun to research adoption agencies, we do not plan on starting the process for a while yet. We definitely want to talk to couples who have adopted and pick their brains about what they learned through their experience.

Please keep that situation in your prayers.

Change #3: My last post was about my brother and sister-in-law who recently announced their pregnancy with a due date of July 10. This will be the first Gray family grand baby and I'm sure that will mean a mid-summer trip to Houston followed by another family gathering next holiday season.

I have been an uncle for about 7 years now, but I'm interested to see if it feels any different to be the uncle of a sibling's kid as opposed to the uncle of an in-law's kid. Either way, I am so excited to be an uncle again.

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I'm definitely looking forward to these new changes with excited expectancy that God is going to grow Heidi and me, and that He is going to make '08 the most exciting and memorable year of our lives.

God, thank you for your never-ending faithfulness. No matter what comes, we give all the glory and honor to you.

A Big Christmas Gift

My brother Jonathan and his beautiful wife Michelle called us on Christmas Day to give us the news that they are 12 weeks pregnant with their first child! "Baby Gray" as he/she is currently named, is due on July 10, 2008.


Congratulations guys!

(((XM))) Radio

I'm giving very serious thought to canceling my XM Radio subscription.

Last Christmas, Heidi got me this really cool wireless XM Radio -- its like an iPod, but receives satellite radio signals. We also got one for her car because traveling through the deserts of Southern Utah and still having over 100 crystal clear, commercial free radio stations pretty much rocks.

I love that XM has stations that you can't really get with regular radio. My favorite by far has to be Cinemagic - Escape Into the Movies (channel 27). This channel plays scores from movies. All day long. From Lord of the Rings to Pride & Prejudice, from Gladiator to Karate Kid, this channel plays just about everything. I love it.

We also listen to comedy stations, Christian music stations, talk radio, top 40 tunes, music from the 50s, the 90s, and everything in between. Christmastime is especially fun because they offer 5 different stations dedicated to playing uninterrupted Christmas music.

Why then, you may ask, would I want to cancel my subscription? Well, I'm thinking of using the money I would spend on two more one-year subscriptions and using it to pay for a new infertility treatment regimen. I haven't written in a while about the infertility circus that is my life, but the short story is that all the money we poured into the last treatment ended being a complete waste because all it did was make things worse. This new course of therapy is supposed to fix all that. In all honesty, my faith in modern medicine has taken a big hit, so I'm a bit leery of this new treatment.

I'll tell you this -- I would gladly trade my 100+ commercial free radio stations in for just 100 sperm that actually swim in a straight line. That's a selling point I could get on board with.

Contentment

Sometimes it can be hard to be content with the things that life throws your way.

Heidi and I have been struggling with getting pregnant for some time now, and it seems like each time we take a step forward in our attempt to start a family, we get knocked back two steps. Oftentimes, we wonder why God is allowing us to go through this trial. It can become easy for us to look at others who are successfully getting pregnant, and then begin to feel the discontentment with our situation rise up inside and begin to consume us. Feeling contentment in the dark shadow of unrealized expectations can be difficult.

Today God allowed me a six-minute reality check, and suddenly, this burden seems so light.

Graciasgiving

This Thanksgiving, Heidi and I get to visit my mom's side of the family in Farmington, New Mexico (a 7+ hour drive from Phoenix). My grandma and granddad and my aunt and uncle live up here, and this is a good in-the-middle-of-all-the-families meeting spot.

As a kid, my family used to drive here and visit at least twice per year. I haven't been back to Farmington for more than 8 years, and I am really enjoying the nostalgia of this place and of hanging out with family again.

One of the highlights so far is getting to listen to my granddad talk about WWII. He was a B 24 bomber pilot in the South Pacific, and he has some great stories. I'll probably dedicate an entire post to this in the future -- his story makes me swell with patriotic pride.

Whether you are away with extended family, or at home with your loved ones, I would like to wish you all a very Happy Thanksgiving!

What a Faker!

Sometimes the hardest thing about interacting with people is not knowing what is actually going on in the other person's head. People in today's society have made an art form out of putting on a good face and trying to keep up pretenses. Someone can have it all together on the outside and be a complete disaster on the inside. The key is to develop your ability to see through the superficial, and recognize the significant. This requires practice.

I offer you the opportunity to practice today:

I recently came across this test that measures one's ability to read faces. This requires that you focus intently on looking past the skin and staring into the soul. Can you spot the fake smiles? I was able to get 17 out of 20. That means that if you try to fake smile at me, I'll know it 85% of the time.

So don't even try it.

New Venture

Some of you may know this, to others it may come as a surprise: I am currently working on writing my very first book.

Earlier today, I sent one chapter of my book to a literary critiquing company who has promised to give me very detailed feedback on my work. Their website promises their critique will give me more information than I could have ever hoped for or wanted. Yikes.

I'm really hoping that they see some good potential and that they can offer suggestions that would really take my writing to the next level. I would love to keep writing and eventually see something of mine published. Either way, I have committed to Heidi that I will finish it. More on this to come.

Lateral Fest 2007

I do not post about sports often, but this play by the Trinity Tigers is absolutely amazing:

Shameless Plug:

GreatLeaps Preschool is quite possibly the best kept secret in the West Valley.

This past August, my wife and her friend Nicole started a home-based preschool in Goodyear, Arizona. Both Heidi and Nicole left their jobs as public school teachers so that they could turn their attention to educating 3 to 5 year old children, and prepare them to experience future success in school.

If you know someone who has been looking for a safe, loving, and academically excellent learning environment for their preschool-aged child, would you mind spreading the word about GreatLeaps? Starting a preschool is definitely a word-of-mouth business, and any and all exposure is much appreciated.

If you would like to know more about GreatLeaps before telling your friends, please take a few minutes to browse the website, or contact Heidi and Nicole -- they would love to answer any questions you may have.

Thanks!

One Foot in the Grave

I turned 30 today.

Time to begin finalizing my memoirs, make sure my will is up-to-date, and buy some stock in whatever companies manufacture Depends, Polident, Centrum Silver, Preparation H, and Gold Bond Medicated Powder.

Just kidding. In reality, I love each year of my life more than the last. God has blessed me far more than I could ever deserve. My beautiful wife, Heidi, is such an amazing companion -- she makes me laugh, is forever patient with me, and has such a kind heart toward others. I also love being close with my family, my friends and co-workers make my life "interesting", and my job gives me the opportunity to be creative and serve God with my talents.

To all of you who I call friend (and to you too Brent), thank you for being a part of my life. I am honored to know each and every one of you.

Michael

Alternative Medicine

I love how so many of our friends have come alongside Heidi and me as we fight the war against infertility. All your prayers (mixed with 25 horse pills a day, special estrogen-suppression spray twice a day, and extra-potent testosterone cream each morning) have definitely been helpful.

Well, today we had a new weapon added to our arsenal. Pete Espinosa, one of the rockin' electric guitarists at Palm Valley Church, has personally loaned me what he considers a sure-fire cure: his old workout socks.


For those of you who may not have noticed, the writing on the bottom reads "survival of the fittest", and that is indeed a sperm on my ankle. I may be pressing my luck with 2 of my last 3 posts containing pictures of sperm. Sorry Jeanette :)

According to Pete, these beauties are not merely fashionable fitness footwear, but also lucky baby-making socks. These breathable cotton/poly blends are what Pete wore while training for a marathon during the same time of year that he and his wife were trying for kids (please take special note of the italics).

Since they have worked like a charm for him twice already, he generously decided to share the wealth with me. I'm hoping that the magic is simply in the socks and not in the marathon training -- if that be the case, I'm only going to be known to children as "Uncle Michael" for the rest of my life.

For you skeptics out there, you must know this: I put these socks on as soon as I got home from church, and then watched the Arizona Cardinals turn a 7 to nothing 1st quarter defeat into an incredible 21 to 14 win against the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Coincidence you say?

I think not.

This is Messed Up

I just read an article about the guy who has prepared our taxes for the last four years. He is being indicted on 136 counts of tax fraud and forgery. Heidi and I knew something was up when our usual $2,000 tax return took a huge swing to become a $5,000 tax liability this past year.

Now it looks like the government might be auditing our tax returns for at least three years back (I think that is the statute of limitations on taxes). Just what we need.

What bothers me the most is that Heidi and I don't know a great deal about the insanely complex tax system, and we trusted this guy to prepare them for us. We never wanted to short-change the government, we just wanted to pay our taxes like other honest, hard-working Americans. Now we are going to have to take the hit to fix a situation that we didn't cause.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I hate dealing with taxes!

Becoming A Man...Finally

I am less than a month away from my 30th birthday, and manhood is knocking on my door.

Most of you that know me well, know that Heidi and I have been unable to conceive a child due to major problems with my sperm. We have been undergoing fertility treatment for almost a year now. During a doctor's visit in early July, I learned that the problems with my sperm were rooted in the fact that my testosterone level was at a dismal 118 (normal levels are between 800 and 1,200).

Since then, I have rubbed testosterone cream on my leg each morning in hopes that I could induce a reversal in my levels. The minor side effects of this treatment make for some funny stories, most of which I will save for another time. One side effect is increased irritability -- which I generally don't recognize on my own. My wife, in her ever-so-tender and loving way, gently informs me about my aggression by saying something like, "Hey, take it easy now Testy Testosterone!" That's what she calls me. Testy Testosterone.

Well, I got the results of my latest blood work today and it looks like Testy Testosterone may be a name that sticks. My testosterone level is now at 785. I'm knocking on the door baby! I am excited that this treatment is helping and that God seems to be answering our many prayers. For those of you who already do, please keep praying that this trend continues.

Unmitigated Agony

I just encountered one of my biggest pet peeves in life -- I got a bowl and a spoon out of the cabinet, poured a nice bowl of Golden Grahams, and opened up the refrigerator to find that we were OUT OF MILK!

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr....

What is one of your biggest pet peeves?

Its Traintastic!

Photography is something I have loved for a long time, but I don't spend a lot of time doing it. During a recent church video shoot in Riverside, Arizona, I snapped some photos for Ryan Nunez's son Eric. He is totally into everything involving trains (and even coins words like "traintastic" to express his train affection).

I was using the church's Cannon EOS Rebel XT camera (which I love as much as Eric likes trains). These photos are not likely to win any awards, but I thought they were cool. We'll know for sure if photographer extraordinaire Kim Logan leaves positive feedback. She rocks at photography.

Here are my photos:

"132 & Bush, I've Got Him at Gunpoint"

Just returned home tonight to seven squad cars and nine of Avondale's finest breaking up a big disturbance next door (involving at least ten people).

I have heard that the house next to us was turned into Section-8 housing last year. If that is true, I'd like to give a great big sarcastic thanks-a-lot to our state government for helping to turn a perfectly peaceful neighborhood into an episode of COPS.

The Mormons

Heidi and I just finished watching a fascinating four-hour documentary on PBS called The Mormons.

Growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah, I have had a great deal of contact with Mormons, and Mormonism is a religion that I know well. Just about every kid in the neighborhood or at school was Mormon. In fifth grade, social studies is dedicated to teaching about Utah's history -- which is essentially the story of the Mormon exodus from Illinois. My family has visited Temple Square many times, and we have taken the visitor tours which tell all about Joseph Smith and the revelation that gave birth to Mormonism.

Writing on the topic of Mormonism could take me in about 100 different directions. The Mormon story is definitely intriguing. It includes acts of terrorism, God-ordained adultery, separatist anti-Americanism, mass murder, death oaths, and black magic. On the other hand, the Mormon story also includes elements of strong family values, close-knit communities, worldwide evangelism, and fervent pro-Americanism. Its an interesting dichotomy.

One quote from the documentary sums up this fascinating religion's history by asking, "How do you go from being the ultimate outcast, to the embodiment of the mainstream in two generations? Its a breath-taking transformation."

It is indeed an amazing story.

Advantage: Gray

I love playing tennis. Earlier this evening, Heidi and I played a few sets at Avondale Friendship Park. We haven't played tennis together in years, and it was great spending the day with her and doing something different.

I have to tell you, Heidi did a great job and kept me running the court all night. She has this strange ability to hit the back line, then return my volley by barely clearing the net on a short lob. I know I'm not in the best shape of my life, but I'm not even sure that Agassi could have run baseline-to-net as often as I did tonight.

Here is a live-action shot of one of her signature returns:



Perhaps I should have focused more on returning the ball than on getting pictures.

Breakfast Rocks!

In an effort to lighten the mood left over from my last blog and the crummy things going on in my life, I'd like to offer up this Zigvid in honor of something in life that still makes me happy: pancakes.

I must warn you, if you choose to view this video, I cannot be held responsible for the pancake theme song getting stuck irrevocably in your head. If you love pancakes as much as I do, there is an even higher chance of song stickage.

You have been warned.

Personal Barometer

I cannot begin to express how disappointing it is for me that I have not blogged in a long time. This site is a source of a great deal of joy and relaxation for me, and I have missed it greatly. I would go as far as to say that my frequency of blogging and blog reading is in direct correlation to my energy level and/or my attitude toward life. It's like a personal barometer for me.

Over the past few months, I have been struggling with a number of health-related, personal, and professional issues in my life. None of my issues are particularly serious or life-threatening, they are just pestering. I am not deeply depressed or anything, but I am definitely going through a dark time. I wish that I could pinpoint what it is that has me down, but I can't -- and that frustrates me more. I guess that there are just times of random discontent in each person's life, and this is one of mine.

I have never been the sort of person to hide what is happening in my life; I am truly an open book. Please know that I don't write these things to somehow gain sympathy or to cause anyone to go out of their way to make me feel better. Honestly, I'm not even sure kind words will help. I only write these things because writing them down is a way for me to get rid of the baggage that is keeping me down -- and I think its good to share things publicly rather than keeping them to myself.

If you have a minute, I would appreciate a quick prayer on my behalf. I'm generally not selfish about asking for things, but I believe that prayers will help.

Thanks.